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Ashley Wood | Fashion Contraceptive

‘Lady boner’ for Leandra

Published: Wednesday, December 8, 2010

Updated: Wednesday, December 8, 2010 07:12

As I sat down to write my final column for this semester, I couldn't help but feel like it should be one last ode to the brilliantly hilarious woman who inspired my topic choice: Leandra Medine.

In case you missed my first column back in September, Leandra is the writer of a blog called "The Man Repeller," in which she humorously discusses current fashion trends that make men cringe. Recent topics have included footwear resembling vaginas, bowties and inappropriate uses of leather.

Although Leandra is incredibly entertaining, that is only one of the reasons that I decided to write a column devoted to her concept. The approach "The Man Repeller" takes toward fashion not only helps get more people interested in the topic, but it also reinforces fashion as an art form.

I've spent the past semester hopefully proving to you that fashionable women consistently sacrifice sex appeal for style. If fashion was really as frivolous as looking pretty, then why would anyone bother wasting money on things like jumpsuits and men's trousers? These are the kinds of trends that have inspired Leandra to create a whole new sartorial vocabulary, with phrases like "man repellent" and "lady boner" replacing outdated terms like "attractive" and "flattering."

Overall, I hope those of you who enjoyed this column will take the time to check out Leandra's blog. In the meantime, I leave you with a few "man-repelling" trends to look out for this winter and spring:

Glittery shoes: Embrace your inner Liberace and invest in a pair of glitter-adorned shoes this holiday season. I highly recommend Giuseppe Zanotti's glitter ankle boots, or if you're working with a more realistic budget, Jeffrey Campbell's glitter Lita heels. If you purchase the latter, not only will you offend men with the disco balls on your feet, but you will also emasculate them by turning into a bona fide Amazon. Together, the heel and platform add about five inches. I know because I own them in green.

Nun-wear: My friend recently sent me a link to a New York Times Style article titled "Good Habits" — as in, the habits that nuns wear on their heads. The article featured pieces from both Celine's and YSL's Fall 2010 lines, which were clearly inspired by clergymen and Catholic school nuns. I could possibly justify returning to church solely for this reason.

Turbans: I feel like men generally abhor female headwear, given the reaction I usually get from my Zorro hat, but this one definitely takes the cake. Unless men find the "Girl with the Pearl Earring" — the painting, not Scarlett Johansson in the painting-inspired film of the same name — attractive, chances are, the new trend of turban-like headbands won't inspire any excitement in their nether regions. Just saying.

Rings that double as brass knuckles: Between jewelry designers like Pamela Love and the Olsen twins, fashionistas everywhere are repelling men not only with their androgynous clothing, but also with the weaponry they're sporting on their fingers. My own experience with my Elizabeth and James knuckle ring includes being asked, "Wow, are you going to punch someone with that?" and "Did you break your finger, or is that a ring?" I have since given up on providing an explanation and instead have chosen to embrace the fact that my jewelry can take the place of pepper-spray.

 

Finally, whether you're a man getter or a man repeller, I wish you the best in all your love endeavors and truly hope that all those fashion-loving women out there can find a man as appreciative of their harem pants as I am.

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