Jack Webster and Hannah Furgang | A Piece of Advice
Down in the doldrums
Published: Thursday, April 26, 2012
Updated: Thursday, April 26, 2012 11:04
Dear Jack and Hannah,
It’s the end of the year. I have failed in my job search and am now going home. How do I deal with being back under the iron thumb of my parents after an entire year of blissful freedom?
Holed Up at Home
Dear Holed Up,
We’re sorry your summer plans fell through. You should have looked for a job writing newspaper columns. But, hey — it’s almost summer! Stop complaining! For a few weeks at least you can just lie in bed and eat cake and hot wings and never have to go to class. The days will be balmy, the nights cool, and you can have lots of fun with your high school friends, assuming you managed to keep in touch with them after a year or two at Tufts. We hope by now you’ve got a driver’s license, so at least you can leave the house. Just tell your parents what’s what when you get home and coast through an easy summer.
Of course, you’re probably used to a hard-partying Thirsty Thursday-esque schedule, and without the college environment to support you, there’s a chance you’re going to be left out in the cold on the weekend — unless you’re 21. But then you’re a real person and probably won’t take our advice anyway. As freshmen about to embark on our first summer after a year of college, we share your concerns and have a few ideas of our own.
Jack plans on driving around all summer listening to a choice summer playlist, assuming gas doesn’t hit the record highs it is expected to. Barring that, he’ll be biking around but doing the same. It’s a poor substitute for a night out on campus, but he imagines Wawa will make a fair substitute for Moe’s (if you know what Wawa is, thank you).
Hannah can offer you a few mom-sanctioned ways to let loose in suburbia. Your house may be lacking black lights and fratty bouncers, but there are plenty of ways to play pretend. There’s no reason why you can’t play loud music in the comfort of your own bedroom and invite a few buds over. Enlist an ornery sibling to act as an RA, and trick-turn some Wheat Thins from the pantry to pay him or her off when the noise complaints roll in. When Friday night comes around, feel free to wander aimlessly around the neighborhood. Strain your ears for the faint thump of a subwoofer. When you don’t hear it, bitterly trudge back to your home.
Plus, fall is just around the corner. And there are any number of ways to pass the time. If you find yourself longing for Tufts, just look at the website. Or religiously read the orientation schedule and pretend you’re an incoming freshman to psych yourself up. If that doesn’t help, every time you think about something fun you did this year, just remember another night spent languishing in the library working. Ahh — those were the nights.
Or (gasp) you can actually spend some time with your parents. They’ve been deprived of your charming company for an entire year, and you can use their undivided attention to maybe acquire some cool stuff for your room next fall. If you think you can handle a shopping trip with your parents, that is. So. Who wants to go to Ikea?
In the meantime, it’s been real. Thank you, dear faithful readers. We hope we’ve unburdened you of your worries at least a bit. Peace out and stay hydrated.