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New rules regulate sexual activity in dormitory rooms

Published: Thursday, September 24, 2009

Updated: Sunday, September 27, 2009 20:09

Sexual Policy

Kelsey Marie Bell / Tufts Daily

Under a new ResLife policy, students are not allowed to engage in sexual activity while their roommates are in the room.

There are lots of things roommates fight over — sharing food, where dirty clothes go and how loud to play music, to name a few. But a new university policy is looking to preempt conflicts that can arise over when it's alright to engage in sexual activity.

The Office of Residential Life and Learning (ResLife) has added a new stipulation to its guest policy that prohibits any sex act in a dorm room while one's roommate is present. The stipulation further states that any sexual activity in the room should not interfere with a roommate's privacy, study habits or sleep.

ResLife's Assistant Director for Community and Judicial Affairs Carrie Ales-Rich explained that the change comes as a result of an annual review of residential policies that examines the previous year's trends.

ResLife received a significant number of complaints last year from residents bothered by their roommates' sexual behavior. Ales-Rich said that this was one of the most commonly cited sources of conflict between roommates.

"There were incidents that occurred last year, and in the past, where residents of rooms started to feel uncomfortable with what their roommates were doing in the room," Ales-Rich said. "This happened more often than we'd like."

The sex policy, Ales-Rich said, is intended as a tool to facilitate conversation and compromise between roommates, rather than simply proscribe behavior. Ales-Rich emphasized that ResLife hopes students will be able to resolve the issues on their own instead of allowing conflicts to reach a point at which the office has to intervene.

"We want to make perfectly clear that we do not want to hinder someone from engaging in any personal or private activity," she said. "But when it becomes uncomfortable for the roommate, we want to have something in place that empowers the residents to have a good conversation with the roommate."

Tufts Community Union (TCU) Senator Bruce Ratain, who chairs the Administration and Policy Committee, said that while his committee has worked with ResLife before, it was not informed or consulted about the policy change.

Ratain, a junior, said he felt that ResLife should have done more to include students when drafting the new guidelines.

"I understand the intent and problem they are trying to solve, but putting together a policy that meets everyone's interests should involve a larger conversation," he said. "A policy decision like this has a real impact on students' lives. Their input is needed to find a way to form a policy that is neither overly restrictive [nor] cumbersome, but effective in achieving its aims."

ResLife saw a need to take the lead in addressing the issue due to its sensitive nature, according to Ales-Rich. "We found in the past that when it comes to sexual activity in the room, students find it an uncomfortable topic to talk about," she said.

The new regulation is not the only change added this year to the guest policy in the ResLife handbook "Habitats." ResLife now requires students to register their non-Tufts overnight guests with their resident assistants and to obtain consent from their roommates before hosting anyone overnight.

A number of students have taken issue with the sex policy, according to Ratain. He said the Senate plans to address these concerns with ResLife administrators.

"We ... look forward to working with ResLife to find a policy that works best," he said.

Alyza DelPan-Monley, a junior, sees the new policy as a useful tool for decreasing tension between roommates. "I know people who have had problems communicating with their roommates, so having this in place would be good for them," she said.

Sophomore Kristen Collins said she has concerns about the university codifying policy on such a private topic. "I think that it is such a personal issue that it should be dealt with between roommates," Collins said. "It is good that there is a guideline in the event of conflicts, but I don't feel that [ResLife] can enforce it too heavily."

Freshman Jon Levinson questioned the need for any policy at all. "I don't think it's necessary," he said. "I think they are imposing something that should be decided between roommates."

Ales-Rich highlighted the need for students to communicate before ResLife becomes involved. "When roommates share a room, they have to talk about it and compromise about how the room is utilized," Ales-Rich said. "We don't want to let a conflict get to a point where someone from ResLife has to intervene and have that conversation."

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TheJudge
Mon Sep 28 2009 16:10
Binge drinking, STD's, drug use, AIDS... hey, it's what college is for! Lighten up, yo! There are no moral absolutes. If it feels good, DO IT! Yeah man! Cool! And when you're laying in the hospital bed, gasping your last few breaths from AIDS-related diseases at the age of 27, you can think fondly back on your college days and smile, knowing you pi**ed your whole life away, and have an eternity of hell to look forward to. Good times.
redrover
Mon Sep 28 2009 16:03
Not just critque them but take photos for the dorm bulletine board. LOLGeesch there is no reason for putting your roomate in that ackward situation. Get a hotel room.
Sex
Mon Sep 28 2009 15:49
What if you want to have sex WITH your roommate? That would go against policy, too, I guess, since you'd both be there...
Tired of rude imporTants.
Mon Sep 28 2009 15:35
If you're the offended roomate, just stand over the fornicating couple and critique their performance - out loud. "No, tilt your head more to the left...." "Uh, dude, you need to arch your back more..." "Hey, does that hurt you? It looks so uncomfortable from where I'm sitting..." Every time they make a noise, just grunt back mimicking them..... eventually, they'll get the point or else they're too stupid to actually pass college classes, so they'll flunk out and leave. Either way, you win.
Max
Mon Sep 28 2009 14:11
Wow thats gross that you even need a rule for that. People you need to repent.
Your name
Mon Sep 28 2009 12:27
Your roommate lives there. Your boyfriend or girlfriend does not. People have a right to feel comfortable in their own spaces and get to their books and computers and things they need to study without having to negotiate these needs with their selfish roommates. This Policy merely makes it clear that your roommate is paying for space they can call their own - not for space you can take over everytime you get the itch. There are plenty of places on the campus to retreat to if need be, or you can pay for the single room you think you are entitled to.
09gradumicate
Mon Sep 28 2009 12:21
You look like a tool if you do it, and you feel uncomfortable if you're witnessing it (eh...many people feel uncomfortable, others live vicariously through it....whatevs). The truth is if it's happening freshman year you're screwed (har) as playing musical roommates is a hard game to play. I feel like it's not so much a regulation as a public declaration that 'hey, you kids who are doing this are being tools'. I mean, I haven't had a scrunchie since I was six, but I have had socks...and they are certainly easy to put on the door. Equally easy is a quick text or conversation. Neither the dorms nor the students at Tufts are hot enough that you will be so bothered in the moment that you cannot tell your rooms that you need a half hour (or more likely 7 minutes). I don't think it's the witnessing students' faults for bringing something like this to reslife, the other ppl just need to get (another) room. If all else fails, the Joey appears to be a great place to get it on (cheers to Crane's sex column of last year--freshmen, look it up).

...and yeah, you may be adults and all, but I think it's perfectly fine if Tufts calls you out on childish behavior. If you didn't learn it at home...(that's what college is for!)

09 gradumicate
Mon Sep 28 2009 12:18
You look like a tool if you do it, and you feel uncomfortable if you're witnessing it (eh...many people feel uncomfortable, others live vicariously through it....whatevs). The truth is if it's happening freshman year you're screwed (har) as playing musical roommates is a hard game to play. I feel like it's not so much a regulation as a public declaration that 'hey, you kids who are doing this are being tools'. I mean, I haven't had a scrunchie since I was six, but I have had socks...and they are certainly easy to put on the door. Equally easy is a quick text or conversation. Neither the dorms nor the students at Tufts are hot enough that you will be so bothered in the moment that you cannot tell your rooms that you need a half hour (or more likely 7 minutes). I don't think it's the witnessing students' faults for bringing something like this to reslife, the other ppl just need to get (another) room. If all else fails, the Joey appears to be a great place to get it on (cheers to Crane's sex column of last year--freshmen, look it up).

...and yeah, you may be adults and all, but I think it's perfectly fine if Tufts calls you out on childish behavior. If you didn't learn it at home...(that's what college is for!)

Tufts grad
Mon Sep 28 2009 11:21
Probably wouldn't have married my husband whom I met at Tufts if this rule was in place while we were there...
Dave Jones
Mon Sep 28 2009 11:19
Turn the camera on your computer on, keep it posted at your roommates bed. Then post it on some web site. Unless the gal likes having her performance broadcast, that should solve part of the problem
Acting like a TRUE Christian
Mon Sep 28 2009 11:12
WWJD ?????
james
Mon Sep 28 2009 10:44
Hey Humans cannot make a worm yet they have made gods by the dozen. Thus sally forth and find a god that suits your lifestyle. Years ago we 3 guys shacked up in a split room in London, on returning home my buddies girlfriend was asleep with her lovely naked chest exposed. Great memory.
savedman
Mon Sep 28 2009 10:13
You poor Christ rejecting sinners!
You will see on the judgment day when you stand before the True and Living God-The Lord Jesus Christ, that the King James Bible is God's inspired preserved words.
If fornication is morally ok anyway, why do so many of you fornicators have STD"s, and AIDS (GRID) Gay Related Immune Deficiency.
Repent of your sin and Believe on the death, burial, and resurrection of the Lord Jesus Christ, or you will be bound hand and foot and cast into the Lake of Fire (Romans 10:9-17; 1 Corinthians 15:1-5; Mark 9)
Me
Mon Sep 28 2009 09:54
"Pretty sure it's not applicable anymore. "

Testosterone on...brain off.

Visitor
Mon Sep 28 2009 01:14
All the non-participating roommate has to do is keep a dvd of Kermit and Miss Piggy singing a diddy or an episode of Mr. Rogers and hit On for the TV and DVD and turn up the volume and watch it slurping a Big Gulp.
That would re-direct the fornicating couple. heh.
Your name
Sun Sep 27 2009 22:00
Will people stop complaining about this? Nothing is going to change, it's a policy that cannot be enforced. And dude, if you really feel the need to have sex when you're roommate is in the room wouldn't you ask them to leave in the first place? Or do you like having an audience? It's utterly ridiculous to bitch about this, it's never going to actually affect your life.
Spud
Sun Sep 27 2009 20:11
Yeah, I bet daddy is proud of all you losers!
marc
Sun Sep 27 2009 11:10
and this is why you always have to plan your sex ahead or at least live in the dorms where there are single lockable bathrooms. For all those freshman around i would suggest bush and south halls for your sophomore year of getting it on. The former even has some full size bathtubs around! I fear to think just how many tens of thousands of kids have fornicated in those showers.
heff
Sun Sep 27 2009 09:37
future LEADERS? of America?
Your name
Sun Sep 27 2009 07:31
@ReturnToMorality

Oh, I didn't realize God personally wrote the bible; as I recall it was written by a bunch of people who wanted to get others to think the same nonsense as them, and this was all over two thousand years ago.
Pretty sure it's not applicable anymore.

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