Top Ten | Unexpectedly slutty Halloween costumes
Published: Wednesday, October 26, 2011
Updated: Tuesday, November 1, 2011 23:11
As they say in "Mean Girls" (2004), "In the regular world, Halloween is when children dress up in costumes and beg for candy. In Girl World, Halloween is the one night a year when a girl can dress like a total slut and no other girls can say anything about it." So '86 that tired sexy maid costume and check out 10 ways to be unexpectedly slutty this Halloween.
10. The albino squirrel: If you made this slutty, it would be really unexpected.
9. A taco: Don't normally think of Mexican takeout as slutty? You, sir, are mistaken — just ask Ms. Taco's friend, Mr. Burrito.
8. Jumbo: Yeah, we are.
7. Butter: Just look for someone dressed like a muffin.
6. Banana slug: They're hermaphrodites, so they can do slutty two ways.
5. Larry Bacow: Name one person who saw this homeboy in his flowing robes at the inauguration and didn't think to themselves, "Damn, I bet he has some nice pecs under there."
4. Mark Zuckerberg: More like Slut-kerberg, amirite?
3. The Washington Monument: You know what else kind of looks like an obelisk?
2. Gourds: In doing research for this top 10, we discovered that when you put two pumpkins next to each other, they totally look like boobs.
1. Political candidates: Hillary Clinton's headbands and pantsuits notwithstanding, I hear Anthony Weiner takes a sassy pic. Take a cue from the master — just walk around with a camera, your birthday suit and an expression of deluded denial.