Q: Dear "Dr." K,
My girlfriend and I have recently been discussing having sex in the
Government Book Stack Section of the Library. What do you think: kinky or crazy?
- Experimenting with Eros
A: Dr. K is going to have to take a step back and listen to each shoulder in turn: first the angel, then the devil.
Angel:
This is crazy! It's understandable to want to experiment with your girlfriend, especially when things get a little boring and need to be jazzed up. And coming up with funky ways to express your wild side would be a great idea if you kept it between the sheets - in your ROOM! If you need to get your groove on in the middle of the library stacks, then maybe you should figure out exactly why you and your girlfriend are in need of such a thrill. Is your relationship reaching a sexual plateau? Do you feel like you need reconnecting, or just some added excitement?Let me make a few suggestions for alternatives to freaking out your fellow students and librarians over at Tisch. If you need to re-ignite the spark, maybe you should plan a night of total romance. Ok, I know it sounds cheesy, but trust me - this will work! Here's a sample scenario: Take your girlfriend out to a really nice dinner (North End, etc.) and perhaps indulge in a bottle of wine. Wear your favorite outfit, and really pay attention to how sexy your girlfriend looks - and compliment her on it!
After dinner, go back to your place where you will have conveniently left a few playful items waiting your arrival. Have some candles and music ready, maybe some of those flavored body lotions that taste really good, whatever. Another suggestion would be to have some fruit and whipped cream handy - I don't think I need to spell out what fun you could possibly have with that. Really, the key is just to take your time, paying close attention to every detail of each other. Lock your door, unplug the phone, and if you live on-campus, make it clear that your roomie better not disturb. If all else fails (and you are really into the kinky stuff) you could always invest in some serious vinyl, love beads, and other non-conformist toys.
The bottom line is this: people in the library are generally pissed off anyway, and if someone were to see you (and they would), you'd run the risk of causing some supremely stressed student to lose it altogether and freak out. And if a librarian or professor caught you...well, all I have to say is good luck!
Devil:
What a wonderfully kinky idea! There is nothing quite like a spontaneous thrill to get the adrenaline (among other things) pumping. If you really want to make it fun though, you can't plan ahead or get nervous. If you want to do it, just do it one night when you and your girlfriend just happen to be studying together. Maybe you can whisper something devilish in her ear, or pass a note across the table, and tell her to meet you in the Government Stacks (or maybe the Ethics section - how ironic). You will have to be somewhat inconspicuous, however, so try not to get caught. No doubt the thrill of actually going through with it in the middle of the library will be excitement enough to ensure you, ah, "finish" your business fast. They call them quickies for reasons like this!Q: Dear Doctor K,
I've been feeling nervous recently knowing that the end of November was coming up and with it, of course, Thanksgiving. This will be the first time that I've gone home since school started and I'm anxious because I think that I've changed a lot since I left, and I have this feeling that everyone at home hasn't. Maybe we'll be hanging out and have nothing in common anymore. I feel like I've done so many things and met so many cool new people since September that things can't possibly be the same. I kind of want to just stay here with my new friends. Is that wrong? - FreakedA: The dictionary definition of a friend is "a person whom one knows, likes, and trusts; a person you know well and regard with affection." Does your own definition of a friend differ? If not, then why are you doubting your relationships that began long before you met anyone here at school? Going home for Thanksgiving break should be a really exciting time for students. You get the chance to re-connect with family and friends who you haven't seen for a long time. This is the time to build relationships stronger, share stories, and talk about how weird everyone at school is.
It's understandable that you're nervous about the first get-together with high school friends, but unless your personality has done a complete 180, then stop worrying about it! You became friends with these people for a reason, and that same reason is what should make you genuinely excited to see them when you go home. So maybe you've done a lot of cool things and met cool new people, but do you think your friends from high school haven't? Unless, of course, they have been at school thinking about you the whole time and realizing that they couldn't possibly imagine having any other friends. This is highly unlikely however, so you have to give your friends more credit that you do.
Ignoring your friends from home (the same people who undoubtedly helped you through your most awkward, confusing, hormonally imbalanced times) is denying your roots, your upbringing, and your whole life prior to freshman year. Don't be lame - just go home, and be really appreciative that your friends are still there for you.
