Q: Dear Dr. K,
<I>I just had the realization that graduation is fast approaching. Although I've known all year that I'm about to graduate, it just hit me now - and I don't think I'm ready to accept it! For my entire life, I've always known where I was going, what path I was following...and now, for the first time, I'm completely clueless. How do I deal with the reality that my college career is coming to a conclusion?
-<I>dreading the departure
<I>A: It's understandable that you're freaking out - after all, you are about to finish one of the most amazing experiences of your life. You should take this time before you graduate to reflect on what an incredible experience college was, and realize how much you've (hopefully) learned from it all.
Of course, I don't necessarily mean how much you've learned about osmosis or Bayesian statistics - I'm talking about the real-life lessons that accompany the full-time job of being a college student.
Take time during the next few days to share these feelings and worries with the friends who have been through it all with you. You have to realize that you are definitely not the only person feeling this way.
In fact, I don't know a single person who is feeling completely confident and nonchalant about the whole graduation process. Everyone, no matter what concrete plans the person may or may not have for next year, is realizing that college life as we know it is about to end.
But don't take this to mean the end of your life is near. It's just the end of one phase in many that will take place during the journey that is called life. College is so long and all-consuming for the four years that we are in it, and yet it seems to fly by in no time whatsoever.
Yeah, it was fun, and no doubt you learned a lot about friendships, relationships, sex, binge drinking, frat parties, how to do the least amount of work possible and still get the best grade possible, etc. You got to live with peers who became your family away from home, and learned a lot about life without your parents and supporting yourself.
You learned how to work harder than you could have ever imagined, learned how to navigate around the city of Boston, learned how to deal with teachers who made your life hell and teachers who became awe-inspiring influences that guided you to this point. With all these incredible things you have learned, you are so lucky to have been through it.
The end of college may be upon you, but the beginning of an incredible life is now something you have to look forward to. Don't forget the memories, good luck, and be thankful - you will find your way, no matter how scary it may seem.
<I>Q: Dear Dr. K,
<I>It seems like everyone I know has a job lined up for next year, or graduate school plans, and I'm completely at a loss as to what the hell I'm doing. I'm afraid I'm going to wind up working at Blockbuster Video for the rest of my life! I graduated with a history degree, so what the hell do I do now? Does the fact that I have a passion for history mean that I will never get a job, and never have a successful life? What now?-<I>blockbuster bound
A: Hey, wait a second - what does that mean for all the other history majors out there? What about the English majors, the drama majors, the Spanish majors, and even the Bio majors? Do you think that just because you chose a major with no "clear-cut" path lined up, you're the only one who is worrying about what to do next?
Come on! It seems like the only people who really have a clue about what to do next are the engineers, but as for the rest of your liberal arts compatriots, everyone's at a loss - no matter what they say or how sure they seem to be.
As far as I'm concerned, it is impossible to have any idea of what you will be doing for the rest of your life. You will probably change careers eight times before you find something you are truly passionate about, and yes, it may all begin with a lovely job at your local Blockbuster. But what's wrong with that?
I think it's a great idea to take out some time from a "real" job hunt to get a job that will at least pay, even if it doesn't utilize all the skills you've acquired in college. If nothing else, it will get you motivated to find a career path that will satisfy you, and that's not such a bad thing.
You're only 21 or 22 at this point. Think about how young that is. So what if you need the next five years to have a clue about what to do after Blockbuster? Your life does not end when you walk across the stage on May 19.
I can't emphasize enough how truly "okay" it is for you to take the time you need to figure it all out. There is no rush to get to a career, buy a house, get a mortgage, or (gulp) get married...hey, take your time, live it up while you're young with a low-commitment job, and be happy about it!
I can guarantee that those friends of yours who are sure about their job or graduate school plans will certainly change their mind as many times as you will. So sit back and enjoy the ride - and chill out a bit too; graduation is going to be a time for celebration! Stop spending so much time worrying, or you will miss all of the things that make life wonderful!
