I just got in from Philadelphia, site of this year's NBA All-Star Weekend, and boy are my legs tired - tired from running from all the criminals, loan sharks, and thieves. And then I had to go out into the streets.
Due to a mighty increase in the Daily's budget, I was allowed to travel to Philly this past weekend to observe the gathering of the NBA's elite. So I'm standing in line at the hotel with an older, silver-haired gentleman behind me, when I find out there is only one room left in the whole city.
The man behind me asked if he could bunk up with me, and I agreed without glancing back. Only when I took a real look to see who it was behind me did I realize I was going to spend the next three days with Jim Mora, former coach of the Indianapolis Colts.
He snores too loud, and he keeps the room compulsively neat, but other than that he's a good guy. And we had some fun time at the events. He's an opinionated man, so luckily I had my tape recorder with me at all times.
Hey Jim, what'd you think of the Slam Dunk contest?
It sucked. It stunk. I don't know who they think they are out there. There were no stars, there was no creativity. It sucked. I couldn't believe it, it stunk so bad. Those guys shouldn't be allowed back in the league after that.
Oh, come on Jim, it wasn't that bad. True, I hadn't heard of three of the four competitors, and they had to imitate classic dunks, which none of them could really do, but I thought it was nice when the last guy did that reverse dunk.That stunk. Those guys couldn't do diddly poo. I'll tell you what the problem with the dunk contest is. There are no more dunks left to do. And the people that run that, they suck. It took an hour and a half for a couple of no-names to do some windmills. That sucked.
So Jim wasn't the most positive thinker on the trip. But in his defense, the slam dunk contest was lacking... of stars. David Stern should have been on the phone with Kobe Bryant, Tracy McGrady, and Vince Carter (before he got hurt) to make sure they participated. It's hard to get excited about the 12th man on the Sacramento Kings poorly imitating a Dr. J dunk.Hey Japha, is this column about you, or the All-Star game, huh? Why don't you stop blabbing and tell them the debacle the league presented before the dunk contest.
Oh, right. The four-on-four game. Each team had an NBA player, an NBA veteran, a WNBA player, and a celebrity. Yeah, I'm glad each game lasted eight minutes, because any shorter and Moses Malone wouldn't have gotten to showcase his talent.Talent!?! Talent!?! He's lucky if he can make a shot, and you're talking about talent? I'll tell you one thing. It sucked. That stunk. No one was really trying, except friggin' Malone, who's older than a more famous Moses and eight feet tall. That sucked. Even Magic Johnson was boring. He looked asleep on the court. I don't know who they think they are, but that stunk out there.
And the worst part about it, in my opinion Jim, is that they try to promote the WNBA, but they do it in the wrong way. The PR department in that league has to realize that women's and men's basketball are different sports, played in completely different styles. Watching Moses Malone plow over Lisa Leslie does not get me siked for the upcoming season, nor does ease the vomit feeling churning in my belly.Hey Japha, I don't know who you think you are hogging all the ink. You suck. Your grades suck, your column sucks, you suck. You can't write to save your life. Keep interviewing me and you'll be alright, otherwise, this stinks.
Fine, Mora, what'd you think of the Philly fans.I don't know where the hell they get off. First they applaud when Michael Irvin is laying lifeless on their parking garage of a football field, then they throw batteries at St. Louis Cardinals outfielder J.D. Drew because he refused to play in Philly, and now they boo Kobe Bryant every time he touches the ball? That's sick, they should be ashamed of themselves. Although Kobe should pass the friggin' ball. It's not a lottery ticket, share a little with your friends. I don't know who he thinks he -
Jim, the fans of Philly. Stick with that.Sorry. They're pathetic, they're bush league, they stink.
Alright, Jim, it's been a fun weekend, but I have to run. Before I go, give me an NBA Championship prediction. You think the Lakers can win it all?Lakers? Lakers? They can't beat the Memphis Grizzlies, and you're talking about the Lakers?
So you don't like them in the finals?No, I do, I just enjoy shouting.
