Otters go along with intramurals

Imagination is a wonderful thing. It is also a useful thing. Due to a number of important drinking commitments, this "intramural" reporter was unable to actually attend any "intramural" events this week. This article is written with no information other than online scores. Because you could very well go online and check the intramural scores yourself, this article will contain some fun and interesting facts about otters as an incentive to keep reading.

These fun facts were pulled from Otternet.com, "Your Source for Otter Fun, Facts, and Faces". In addition to finding the facts printed here, otter fans can also view pictures of otters, enter a contest to win an otter bookmark, link to organizations that are trying to save otters, and play Otterpong, a deliciously addictive game featuring sea urchins, sharks, and of course, otters.

But first to the intramural scores. Presumably, it was a very exciting week in the all-freshman leagues. In soccer action on October 1, the Mad Cows continued their Yankee-like, whoops sorry, Angel-like dominance over the "Damn my RA is HOT!" league, with a 3-0 victory over the now 3-2 Felons. This reporter does not know for sure but the best game of the week could well have been the Invasion's 6-5 win over Haskell/Maria, which had no important effects on the standings, but might have included a last second goal.

In the "Damn, my RA is HOT!" volleyball league, no scores were available. However Hill is undefeated, so it probably won. Let's say they beat a team of mutant, super-intelligent Wren Bugs in a 2 games to 1 thriller. Two teams are tied for second in "Damn my RA is HOT!" volleyball, South 3 and South 2. Betcha they won too.



Fun Otter Fact!: Otters live on every continent except for Australia and Antarctica!



This past week in the regular intramural soccer league, the Revolution stayed undefeated with a 2-0 victory over Zeta Psi. Clearly, the Revolution goalie played well. He had, let's say, 20 saves. Hell, he may have had 400 saves. The 357 Tigers dropped a double overtime game, 3-2, to the Halligan Hooligans in an absolutely incredible contest, during which the ball never touched the ground!



Fun Otter Fact!: Otters are capable of using tools! Sea otters pry abalone off the rocks and break shells by using smaller rocks!



In intramural basketball action, the first place team in the women's league Balla Status edged the Lady Malds 21-14 in a game that featured the world's largest gorilla dancing the cha-cha at halftime. Men's league leader Nemotada picked up two victories this week, edging Fletcher 2nd 37-34 and routing the Big Guns 53-23. The second game was played on horseback.



Fun Otter Fact!: There are 13 species of otters in the world! There used to be 14 but, according to Otternet.com "...Maxwell's otter, is presumed extinct due to draining of their waters to perform genocide in Iraq." It's probably fair to guess where Otternet.com stands on the whole Mideast situation.



The Killer Beans are 2-0 in the volleyball league after defeating both John Scholle's Team and the Knee Pads. Vanilla Ice and Bud Selig led the way for the 'Beans registering 30 and 50 kills per game, respectively. The Fletcher Globetrotters had the fate of earth on their shoulders when Martians attacked Cousens during the third game of their match against Indy. The Globetrotters beat Indy 2 games to 0 and repelled the Martian attack with several laser-like serves from forward Jim Morrison.



Fun Otter Fact!: The Congo Clawless otter (Aonyx congica) is a mysterious creature! According to Otternet.com, almost nothing is known about the Congo Clawless otter except that they are near extinction and they enjoy eating octopus and lobster!



Reading Comprehension Quiz

1. The reporter sent this article in with a picture of an otter. Did they print it? I didn't think so.

2. Which animal is funnier, a monkey or an otter? Which is cuter? Support your answers by trying to mimic their squeaking.

3. Play fifteen games of Otterpong. Don't you hate that shark? He's just so smug.

4. Which restaurant has the better albalone, Espresso's or Pasta Pisa?



>What did we learn this week?

-Dubya and Otternet.com; leading the march of war!

-Otters are amazing creatures.

-Not very much about intramurals.