The big deal about the 'Big O'

As film connoisseurs, we walk into movies expecting a great ending. No one wants to watch a flick that wanes away with no real conclusion; we want it to go out with a bang. As strongly as we feel about entertainment, our passion for a great finish in cinema pales in comparison to our desire for a magnificent finish in sex. Nevertheless, desire does not always equal result. Many women have never finished any sexual encounter, on their own, or with a partner. Some don't even know if they have ever reached the end or not.

If the phrase "I'm not sure" precedes the word "orgasm," chances are, the woman speaking this sentence has never climaxed. Sex can be pleasurable without having an orgasm, so just because sex felt good doesn't necessarily mean that you climaxed.

Because in essence an orgasm is just a series of muscle contractions, having one is often compared to sneezing. Despite this common comparison, climaxing is not really that similar to sneezing. If it were, people would be licking the handrails of subway stations in order to catch a cold. Although in some cases getting sick is a safer alternative to sex, it fails to produce the same feelings of euphoria.

Pre-orgasmic women frequently ask what an orgasm feels like, and how they will know when they have one. Orgasms are a difficult sensation to explain, but physically all that's happening are contractions of the uterus and outer third of the vagina.

In case the words "contracting uterus" in the previous paragraph didn't paint a vivid picture of what it's like, here is a less technical perspective: having an orgasm is a moment when you're thinking about nothing except for how awesome you feel.

Many women describe a moment of suspension right before they climax. I like to think of it as the same feeling you have while peering over a 50-foot drop on a thrill ride. Sure the rush of an orgasm isn't quite the same as the rush of a roller coaster, but people's faces tend to look just as goofy when indulging in both.

Those who have never experienced the "roller coaster of love"(ie: had an orgasm) may feel pressured to do so. Overly eager couples can make sex so goal oriented that they neglect to find pleasure in it. You definitely won't climax if you stop enjoying sex because you are too preoccupied with the pressure to have an orgasm. In order to climax, you must be able to relax. This can be difficult to do when someone you care about has been diligently trying to please you, and it just isn't working. For this reason, I suggest that all women who are still curious about the "Big O" practice on their own.

I'd assume that by the time you're in college, if you're an orgasm virgin, you won't want to waste time fiddling around. To get straight to the point, bring in some outside assistance and buy a vibrator. You, your vibrator, and lots of time, is an orgasm friendly, low-pressure situation. Since vibrators are inanimate objects, you won't have to worry about it running out of juice, or being insulted if you don't feel it right away. After learning to please yourself, it is much easier to instruct a partner how to do so as well.

If multiple dates with your vibrator aren't spelling success, you should look into the side-effects of any medications you are taking. Some commonly prescribed drugs, including anti-depressants, can interfere with sexual functioning. If you believe that your inability to orgasm is being caused by a medication, you may want to consult with your physician about other alternatives.

Diabetes, extreme vitamin deficiencies, and thyroid disorders are among the treatable medical conditions that cause women to have a difficult time climaxing during sex.

Just because you are experiencing troubles in your sex life now, doesn't mean it will always be this way. Other reasons for orgasmic disorders are unresolved emotional conflicts such as guilt, anxiety, and poor body image. The majority of these psychological problems can be overcome through therapy at least to the point where sexual functioning can be restored.

We've always been told to finish what we've started. Unfortunately, many women can't... or haven't... or just pretend to. Orgasms are wonderful, but it's counterproductive to ruin your sex life in hopes of having one. As in sex and cinema, a strong finish requires adequate development. And even if the ending is not so spectacular, at least the build up was entertaining.