Christmas, Valentine's Day: celebrating the gift

Now that December and the subsequent holiday period is over, now that we have satisfied our souls through the necessary gift exchange, we are all back, ready for the semester. For some it was Christmas, for others it was another holiday. However, irrespective of religious denomination, Christmas time is the ideal opportunity for people to have a little fun or to provide some happiness for a family member or friend, or one's self, who sits in the midst of an unfulfilled live.

How? We satisfy our needs by going to the nearest mall and buying gifts for ourselves and other people. Apparently, nowadays it is only through gifts and other materialistic gestures, such as cards, that we can maintain human relationships.

Nowadays, there are few people who seek religious spirituality during Christmas; most people see the holidays as an opportunity to have fun, receive gifts, and eat nice homemade food. Indeed, one can argue that Christmas and New Years without gifts is like a candy without the sugar. I am not arguing against gift giving, but rather against the nature of gift giving in the context of our society.

Gift giving has always been an element of our culture and has defined interactions between humans. Essentially, it is through the exchange of goods that life and culture perpetuate themselves. Nevertheless, today, the nature of gift exchange has altered. Nowadays, gift exchange not only reflects our materialism but also has a profound impact on human relationships. This is because today the gift itself is employed to offer the compensation and satisfaction that people so much need. Gifts are often viewed as rewards and people seek to accumulate as many as possible. Gifts, because of the way we use them and have made them part of our lives, can be held responsible for the demoralization and degradation of human relations.

From the Christmas example, two main concerns arise. First is the fact that people increasingly become dependent on material goods in order to maintain human relationships. This is because people try to establish or perpetuate relations by offering goods as a sign of approval. There is little room for variation; those who do not agree with this point of view nevertheless have to succumb. Receiving a gift makes one feel secure that he or she is not alone and that people think of him or her. The continuous use of material goods to maintain a relationship shows that people have not forged strong bonds with one another and need other ways to prove their feelings.

In addition, the fact that people seek to maintain relationships in this way shows that people are not satisfied by the number or quality of their present relationships. Through the exchange of gifts people hope to create new relationships or to reinforce already existing ones. Human relations gradually lose their moral aspect. Human interaction has been minimized and limited to holidays or traditional coming together occasions such as weddings. Apparently, the current mode of life is not fulfilling and people try to reunite and maintain these relationships through gift and card exchange in an attempt to convince themselves that they belong somewhere and they are linked to someone.

The gift is one sure way to establish these relationships because it is particularly appealing to people. This is because our society values materialism over idealism. Nowadays, people are always thirsty for something new, something that they do not possess in order to be happy and therefore are keen to receive goods. The continuous pursuit of happiness through material objects shows how materialistic our culture has become. This tendency to acquire increases as time goes by and people are never satisfied with what they possess. Often, these products exceed the needs of individuals; sometimes they even create "new needs." As a result, people become more self-interested and adopt an individualistic approach to life as opposed to a more communal one, whereby emphasis would be given to the well-being of the community and not of the individual.

Our society is one where consumerism prevails. Consumerism is like drugs: people get addicted to it and certain individuals _ the suppliers, in this case, those who manufacture all those products which are somehow linked to all the key holidays of the calendar _ benefit from this addictive need.

Once deprived of multiple goods, people feel that they can no longer live in the same way. If you wonder how this may be the case, imagine what Christmas would be like in a city where there would be no Christmas trees, no lights, no stars and above all no gifts to buy. If you still felt the "spirit," then congratulations, you do not really belong to the big hordes of people who squeeze themselves in the malls.

It is not a pure coincidence that a month before Christmas, Valentine's Day, and Thanksgiving there is a plethora of merchandise which is in some way related to the holiday. Having given way to their needs people cannot resist the temptation; they cannot abstain from buying all sorts of gifts for themselves and others irrespective of their utility.

By trying to satisfy themselves or by trying to bring others closer through gifts, people develop further needs without even realizing it; they become trapped by those who seek to exploit them. Even in the case where one does not aim at attracting people with gifts or does not feel close to another in order to offer a gift, one has to offer "something" to be just like the rest of society.

People are no longer free; they have lost control of their choices. Choice is being taken over by obligation. In general, people nowadays are subjected to manipulation because they are not able to control their needs. People are vulnerable because they are not able to make free choices. A society of people not able to control themselves and not able to make free choices is definitely not a healthy one.

It is ironic how nowadays people try to "buy" relations with gifts since gifts and the turn of individuals towards materialism is what has brought people apart. The gift has always constituted a fundamental part of human interaction either as a means for ensuring survival or just as an aspect of culture. Often, it has played a role in determining with whom one associates.

Nonetheless, never before in the history of mankind has the Gift or any other material object degraded and demoralized human relations to such an extent. Never before have people depended on goods so much in order to be happy; never before have people visualized the meaning of life and satisfaction in the exchange of objects. Never before have people been so unfulfilled, at least psychologically.

Enjoy your Valentine's Day!

Anastasia Konstantakatou is a freshman who has yet to declare a major