Give me one shot

In a number of previous columns I have mentioned that I used to be an athlete. While my colleague Elliott Wiley pens a column called "Not an Athlete." I make no such claim _ I was once an athlete. And in my final three months at Tufts University, I'd like to have the opportunity to prove to you that once an athlete always an athlete. I don't want to graduate from college with regrets, and not playing college sports is my biggest regret. It is also the most fixable _ with a little help from a few coaches. So in the last 12 or so weeks of my college career I hope to accomplish the impossible. I intend to participate in a crew race, get an at bat and play an inning in the field for coach Casey, and run in a track meet.

The following are my open letters to the three Tufts coaches _ Gary Caldwell, John Casey, and Connie Putnam _ who can make this all happen.



Dear Coach Caldwell:

Of the three coaches you are the only one that I have not met before. I have never covered crew and I know little about the sport. After visiting the crew website, I realized that I am also not qualified to row heavyweight crew either. Apparently, one needs to be six feet or taller and weigh 170 pounds are more. I meet neither of those basic requirements as I stand just a tad over 5'9" _ with my hat and shoes on _ and sometimes I can inch over that 140 mark if I have a big dinner. In addition, my only rowing experience came when I visited my uncles' country house in Vermont and he took me out in a canoe.

Perhaps you are thinking that I am a prime candidate for the novice crew team. Or maybe you are thinking that I would be a perfect coxswain for the men's varsity crew team. Hell, you probably just think that I'm a raving lunatic trying to get some laughs. But, please don't let this deter you from giving me a shot.

You should know that I have crew in my blood. My cousin was actually a member of the men's heavyweight crew team at Wesleyan about 15 years ago. You can look him up, his name is Alex Fowler. Sure, I'm three inches shorter and about 50 pounds lighter _ maybe I'm still growing. I know that I can at least bulk up given the right motivation.

And you can be sure that a chance to row heavyweight crew would be more than enough motivation. Just between you and me coach _ if I don't row heavyweight crew before I graduate I will lose 60 dollars. You see, back in high school I figured I'd grow a lot more and I assumed that once I filled out I'd be a rowing machine. Therefore, in the last weeks of my senior year in high school I bet a number of friends that I would row heavyweight crew in college.

While, I probably won't be very good, I can promise you that I will work as hard as I can. I won't make you look bad. Please consider it.



Dear Coach Casey:

I know everything about baseball. I study baseball statistics in the bathroom. Ask me a baseball question and nine times out of ten I will give you the right answer. Unfortunately, I can't guarantee I will have that same kind of success at the plate. However, you can rest assured that I will do my very best and that I won't embarrass you if you give me the opportunity to play on the varsity baseball team.

Here are my credentials. In the early 1940s my grandfather, Dr. Floyd Jackson Fowler was drafted by the St. Louis Browns. Much to my dismay he chose to become a doctor instead. I will never understand that, but I'll stop rambling. In addition to my grandfather's prowess, in eighth grade I made the White Plains Recreation League All-Star team. I even made it to the starting line-up as a shortstop and batted eighth in the All-Star game.

Finally, in ninth grade _ my last season of competitive ball _ I was a part time second baseman for the freshmen team, wore tremendously thick sports goggles and batted .111 in 18 at bats. Sure, that mean's I got two hits over the course of the entire season, but if I hadn't quit surely I would have come into my own the following year.

Not only do I request that you simply allow me to suit up for a game, I also ask that you give me an at bat and also allow me to play a half inning at either shortstop or in center field. Now it may seem like I am becoming a little demanding, and admittedly I am.

However, I know that if you give me this chance people would come to see me fail. In other words, attendance would skyrocket. I don't know about your knowledge of baseball history, but on Aug. 19, 1951, the St. Louis Browns sent 3'7" Eddie Gaedel to the plate as a publicity stunt. You can just think of me as your very own Eddie Gaedel. The people will come coach Casey. The people will come.

And lastly, you may be concerned that your star players might not be behind the decision to let me play ball. I am positive that Brian Shapiro or Evan Zupancic would be quite all right with taking a seat for an inning to let me live out my college dream. Who knows, if you give me this chance, then maybe a scout will see me which will put me on track to achieve my long term goal of playing professional baseball. When I am playing centerfield for the New York Mets, I will always remember what you did for me. Please take this into consideration.



Dear Coach Putnam:

Unfortunately, I am running out of space in this column. So I will give you a quick explanation of why you should let me run in one track meet _ I actually ran competitive track in high school for four years. I can't remember all my times but I know that I ran a 5:10 mile in 11th grade. I also ran a 3.1 mile cross country meet in under 17:30 and I won two All-League Cross Country plaques. You might be the only coach _ of the three _ who could conceivably take my request seriously. Sure, four years is a lot of time to elapse between track meets, but don't let that deter you from giving me this chance. I'll also have you know that my father was a sprinter at Brandeis.

I hope you won't mind that I can only run in black Nikes and knee high socks. That's how we did it in White Plains. Actually, that's how my friend who was ten times faster than me did it. Regardless of the details coach Putnam, it's not showing off if you are that good. Believe me _ I'm that good.



All invitations to participate in Tufts varsity sports can be sent to fowler@tuftsdaily.com.