Hillel hosts a simulated same-sex marriage

In one of the events surrounding a discussion about Judaism and homosexuality, two women got married at in a mock ceremony at Hillel last week.

The event was part of a two-day series at Hillel entitled "Can I Say I Do?", intended to explore the place of LGBT Jews within Reform Judaism.

"We thought commitment ceremonies would provide an interesting and important context to explore bigger issues of homosexuality and Judaism," said senior Arielle Kristan, the coordinator of Jewish and Queer Students at Tufts (JQUEST). JQUEST co-sponsored the event with KESHNER, the reform group at Hillel.

The LGBT Center, the Judaic Studies department, and Jewish Student Projects of Boston also contributed to organizing the two part series, which began with a dinner discussion on Feb. 3 and concluded with the ceremony on Feb. 6.

Cantor Geoffrey Fine performed the ceremony in which Kristan, a senior, "married" sophomore Leah Knobler.

The lower level of the Granoff Family Hillel Center was adorned with streamers and filled to capacity with family, friends, and curious students who eagerly anticipated witnessing the event.

A guitarist played as a procession of 16 friends and family accompanied the two brides down the aisle. The Cantor performed a small part of the ceremony in Hebrew and included elements of a traditional Jewish wedding, such as the drinking of wine, recitation of prayers and the exchange of vows. The ceremony concluded with the tradition of breaking a glass joined by loud cheering and clapping of guests.

Sophomore Alexis Gerber, an active member in the Hillel community, said she came to the event to support her friend Ari. "I've also never been to a commitment ceremony before," Gerber said. "I feel this is a really positive affirmation on behalf of Hillel of same sex relationships."

Junior Josh Pressman attended the event because he had planned the traditional mock wedding that took place at Hillel last year. He was interested in seeing how this ceremony would be different. "I really enjoyed the exchange of vows," Pressman said. "It was just nice to be a part of this."

The first part of the event involved a dinner discussion consisting of a panel of three local rabbis, each representing a different view on the issue of same-sex marriages. Approximately 40 students attended the event, during which each rabbi presented his position on the issue and then opened the floor for questions.

Packets of documents were distributed that included articles on the issue of same sex marriages from all sectors of Judaism (Reform, Conservative, and Orthodox) included statements from the Committee on Jewish Law Standards and excerpts from actual court cases involving the issue of homosexual marriages.

Rabbi Jeffrey Summit of Tufts Hillel said that although he has never performed a commitment ceremony, he would welcome the opportunity. "I am a traditional liberal Rabbi," Summit said. "I feel we should draw from images of Jewish weddings but fashion something that is new and meaningful."

Summit added that Hillel is committed to serving the needs of a broad Jewish community on campus. "We didn't want anyone to be written out and we felt that this was an important educational program," he said.

LGBT Center director Dona Yarbrough felt that the commitment ceremony was an important cultural experience to have at Tufts. "Most gay and lesbian students want or expect to be in a loving, committed and long-term relationship like straight students," Yarbrough said, "but they rarely see models of how those relationships can be publicly recognized and celebrated, especially within a religious context.

"I think it is very important for religious students to learn ways they can incorporate traditional religious beliefs and practices into their lives as LGBT people."

Kristan said she was happy with the way the event turned out "I think we got strong support from both the Jewish and LGBT communities. I am so happy that I was involved in the planning. It was one of the highlights of my four years at Tufts."

After the ceremony, guests gathered around a three-tiered white wedding cake and drank sparkling cider as Kristan and Knobler thanked all who participated in the program.

"I am really happy with the turnout," Knobler said. "It was really important to do this. It meant a lot to my friend Ari for me to help her out with this."

Much like traditional couples caught up in the fun and fanfare of a wedding reception, Kristan and Knobler fed each other pieces of cake.