Intramural soccer kicks off with tight games

The Intramural Soccer season has finally kicked off after months of intense round-the-clock training. Hundreds of half-drunk, half-athletic men and women took to the indoor fields to take part in what was expected to be the most competitive season in the sport's illustrious history. So far, it has lived up to its billing.

Last year's champion, Bombshell, was looking to defend its title but already has run into trouble after losing its first game of the season to Team Haskell 3-2. While other teams might be troubled at such a rough start, Bombshell is confident that it can rebound.

"I'm not worried about the rest of the season," senior Stan Drozdeski said. "We are full of Russians who grew up on soccer. We will rule this league like communism ruled democracy."

Similar sentiments of pride were expressed by a group of freshmen claiming to have what it takes to destroy the league. Despite having only played one game, which they won 4-2 against Zeta Psi, the Alkies are already sensing the league is theirs for the taking.

"I'm still amazed at our victory," freshman David Donatelli said. "I can't believe that we were that drunk and still won by two goals."

"I wasn't even at the game," freshman teammate Ian Beam said, "but I know we rule over Zeta Psi."

Assuming that they are still breathing at the end of the week, it seems that Drunkies' chances look strong for the remainder of the season.

The league is so intense that even those not on a team are getting into trash talking.

"I'm a free agent coming off of the swimming season," sophomore Jono Perry said. "I trained with Cobi Jones in the off-season and have already been offered 200 dollars by an undisclosed team. I know whatever team takes me will take home the gold."

Despite the pride expressed by some, there are others that feel their teams need to make adjustments quickly. ZBT has dropped its first two games of the season, making a combined 0-4 record in intramural basketball and soccer. However, it is not necessary to dwell on this disappointing and unfortunate statistic.

Another team that is looking to right its quickly sinking ship is the Rabid Wombats who have suffered extremely close losses to Tappa Kegga and the Mad Cows 7-0 and 8-2, respectively. While staying close throughout the first five minutes of both contests, the team eventually realized that they were overmatched and looked for inspiration elsewhere.

"I suggested whipping off our shirts to distract our all-male opponents," senior Kelley McMorrow said. "Despite heavily considering the idea, our team decided in the end that we might be disqualified for illegal play. Otherwise we totally would have done it."

While the quality of play is not always superb as indicated by such victories as 13-5 by Simon From England and 9-1 by the Slackers, at least the team names have brought a certain flavor to the league. Crowd favorites seem to be Lookin' To Score and the STD's, who have been attracting flows of people to the games. With such strong crowd support behind them, it is not surprising that they both have jumped out to early victories. And if you are looking to be a fair weather fan, Fletcher Futbol, Team South, I-House, and The Beers are among the leaders of their respective divisions.

Play continues this week with the remainder of the league taking to the fields on Sunday.