Sex and exercise: Sexercise?

It's no secret that people exercise to improve their physique, and not their sex life. If we went to the gym with thoughts of becoming a better lover, as opposed to just looking like one, the sex roles in any workout facility would be reversed. Every girl I know who goes to the gym heads straight for the cardio equipment, while the guys stick to weight lifting machines. Most guys our age would not be caught dead on the elliptical trainer, but if they knew what was good for ol' willy, they'd drop the dumbbells and hop on.

A recent study by the Harvard School of Public Health suggests that half an hour of regular exercise every day decreases the likelihood of erectile dysfunction by 50 percent. Just a wild one, but guys, I'm guessing that your lady (or man for that matter) is going to be a little more concerned with what's firm below the belt as opposed to above it. So maybe it is time to introduce yourself to the treadmill.

I must confess, however, that I don't blame anyone for not wanting to use the cardio equipment. Waiting 20 minutes to use a machine just after you've spent ten minutes walking to the gym in a blizzard is no picnic. And once you get on, the fact that no matter how fast you pedal you never move is just flat-out frustrating. Stationary bikes, elliptical trainers, and treadmills always made me feel like a pet hamster in one of those spinney wheels. There just has to be a form of cardiovascular exercise that is both convenient and fun, that both men and women will feel comfortable doing ... I mean really fun, none of this "it's such a thrill to rotate my legs around in circles and watch how many calories I am burning" crap. So it dawned on me...sexercise! Forgive me, but yes, I researched the value of sex as exercise.

According to the calorie counter on the Health Status website, an hour of sex burns 250 calories, the same amount as an hour of walking. To better put this number in perspective, sixty minutes of sleeping burns 55 calories, and an hour of running burns 800. Assuming that one did not make any alterations in his or her diet, by engaging in an hour of sex every day, one would lose a pound every two weeks. At first this doesn't seem like such a bad deal, but it may be just a little difficult to accomplish.

Although sex would be the most enjoyable exercise regime I can think of, an hour of sex every day is an unrealistic expectation for anyone's sex life. I mean, even Ron Jeremy has had his shortcomings. But all practicality aside, while maybe we have all wondered about how many calories sex burns, turning sex into exercise would be the worst thing that anyone could do for their love life.

Sex is for enjoyment, not for burning calories. With the new year's resolution of getting in shape hanging over our heads, it's too easy to get caught up in obsessive calorie counting. The practice of dieting has done enough to ruin our enjoyment of food. Cookies are transformed from a cookie into 156 calories, 15 grams of fat, and x amount of guilt. Sex can't be turned into numbers too; that's where I draw the line.

The point is, sex is a time to lose all awareness, not a time to be self-conscious of your body or the calories that you may or may not be burning. Some exercise is healthy, but becoming obsessed with achieving "the perfect body" is probably more destructive to your sex life than helpful. Besides, chances are that Mr. or Miss Untouchable isn't going to suddenly change his or her tune if you drop five pounds. Being sexy means being confident. And true confidence is not a result of eighteen hours on the elliptical trainer or thirty reps of fifty-pound weights.

So the next time that decadent chocolate cookie is staring you in the face, eat it and enjoy it. After all, the bigger the cushion, the better the pushin'.