It's Halloween, but I'm cheap and lazy!

It's Halloween, you're about to step out your door, and you've just gotten word that your favorite frat has instituted a costume check at the door before they'll let you in. Under normal circumstances, this might not seem like a big deal, but you've already used the "I'm going as a broke college student" excuse for the last three years and you don't think they're going to let it slide again.

Need a last minute idea before you can head out for a night with witches and ghouls? No problem. Just remember -- it's not the quality of the costume that counts, it's the fact that you have one.

All you need is a sheet and a safety pin to bring the fervor of Greek symposiums to your Halloween feast. Simply fold the sheet in half diagonally, then start with one corner on your shoulder and proceed to wrap it around your body and back up to your shoulder again, where you can secure it with the aforementioned safety pin (or duct tape, if you want to maintain that "I'm-a-college-student-and-I-did-this-at-the-last-minute" sort of look).

If you're feeling especially creative, you can utilize the fruits of autumn and collect some leaves up on the academic quad to use as a crown -- just twine a couple of pipe cleaners together, arrange the leafs to your liking by striking the stems between the pipe cleaners, and tuck the ends around your ears. Enjoy dead Romans? Make some red Jell-O, melt it in the microwave, and then once it's cool enough to touch, slather away. With all those assassinated emperors, there are plenty of modes of death to choose from.

Or, of course, if you want to show off how much you love our Classics Department, add an attribute or two (a stuffed animal for Artemis, a peacock feather for Juno, a tin foil thunderbolt for Zeus, a cheap plastic cup full of beer for Dionysus...oh, wait) and make everyone try and guess which god you are.

Have a little bit of time to plan? Scrounge up one of those packing boxes that you so thoughtfully discarded under your bed when you moved in back in September. Re-make a box using masking tape, tear off the bottom flaps, then get a friend to help you cut arm and head holes at appropriate intervals.

The possibilities here are endless. You can go as a robot (just cover yourself in tin foil and add one of those handy "We Recycle" bins that the janitorial staff so kindly provided at the beginning of the year to the top of your head), a box of French fries (packing foam works well for the fries themselves; or if not, you can easily use long strips of foam board) or a television set (head on down to the Crafts Center in Lewis to paint your box gray, then add pictures of your favorite TV show to the front "screen").

If you want to drive all the '80s kids absolutely nuts, go as a Rubix Cube -- wear all black, then cut out nine squares each of red, yellow, orange, green, blue, and white construction paper. Draw a grid on the box with a black marker and then glue all your squares on in random order.

And one should never underestimate the creative ingenuity provided in one's own bathroom. Mummies are easy -- just secure yourself enough toilet paper (available for about $2.50 at Jumbo Express) and proceed to wrap up. A towel, a scrub brush, and a contorted look on your face are all you need for the ever-popular "Bather Abducted by Aliens" approach. If you look sour enough, you can even convey the impression that you've just been anally probed.

For those seeking to look a bit less home-made, thrift clothing stores might be the way to go. Both the Garment District down in Kendall, a collection of various stores near Porter Square, and our very own Goodwill Shop in Davis offer a variety of cheaply priced secondhand pieces that are just waiting to be turned into an enterprising trick-or-treater's annual getup.

If you want to join the hoards of teenaged girls across the nation who are still stalking Johnny Depp, some raggedy pants, a large belt buckle, a buttoned-up shirt and vest, and a head scarf are all you need to become the most fearsome freeloader ever to terrorize the Medford Main. You can add a hook to your pirate ensemble by turning a plastic drinking cup upside down and then squishing some tin foil into something vaguely curved, or make yourself an eye patch by cutting an oval shape out of black material or construction paper, gluing the sides together, and then threading a piece of string through the fold.

Or you can go as something more retro. Hippie clothes and zoot suits are always easy enough to find, and the Garment District usually has a selection of old wedding dresses, some of which are even moderately priced. Get a pair of light fabric pants, belt them up above your knees, and add a dress shirt to go as a colonist, or just rip some clothes up and tell everyone that you're a survivor of nuclear annihilation.

Planning to wait until the absolute last moment on All Hallows Eve? You can always turn to your closet for inspiration. Dirt-covered clothes and an oddly shaped rock (or is it an ancient Etruscan slingstone?) are all one needs to go as an archaeologist, or you can just dress entirely in one color and tell everyone that you're the adult version of one of the Rainbow Brite kids. If you're still mourning over the latest defeat of your beloved Sox, just deck yourself out in your favorite team's gear and go as a long-suffering fan -- or dress entirely in black, borrow a friend's Yankees hat, and see if you can convince everyone that you've sold your soul to the devil.

And if all else fails, just place a call to some of your friends over in Cambridge and see if you can borrow one of their Harvard sweatshirts. After all, nothing's scarier on Halloween than a college student who couldn't get into Tufts.