Oh, The People You'll Meet

When asked why he won't put cheese on a grilling burger so that the cheese will melt, he responds simply, "I don't eat melted cheese."

It's not that he doesn't like melted cheese, but he does not eat it. This is what makes Rob different from many of us. It's the syntactical nuances in his language that portray a whole other way of thinking that most of us can't understand. But like so many other superficial signals, it is not just Rob's way of speaking that is different. There are so many things that make Rob Ihrig... special.

Rob grew up in rural Illinois as one of three boys to two parents who work in the local gun factory. Rob can attest to work experience in the gun factory too, as well as work on the farm and in the fields. He has assembled M-16's, fed the pigs, and bailed hay. Robert Francis Ihrig is not your typical Tufts student.

He completed his undergrad degree at Bradley University in Peoria, Illinois majoring in chemistry. Unlike most of his family who went into the armed forces or immediately to the work force, Rob made the bold decision to continue his education. He is currently pursuing a PhD in physical chemistry, and you would never know it.

Some of Rob's hobbies - which I will elaborate on - include watching television, playing video games, and building models. Sure, these hobbies may seem to describe the average college student, but not quite. Let me tell you why.

When I say that one of Rob's hobbies is watching television, this is a gross understatement. The idea TiVO was invented when Rob was born 24 years ago. You can ask Rob at any time of day what is on, and he will give you a rundown of the highlights. I once sat down to watch the tube on Tuesday around 5:30 and he abruptly called out from the other room, "don't bother. Nothing on."

When there is something on that is worth watching for Rob, though, it is either on the WB or the Cartoon Network. Now, I do my best to tune out all noise emanating from the television when Rob is watching, but I do know that his nightly schedule revolves around things that might be Everwood, Smallville, 7th Heaven, and of course, Gilmore Girls.

Rob's stringent insistence about watching these programs is not much different than his determination about the foods he does not eat. Example: "Rob, do you want to come out tonight?" "No, I can't. I have to watch Everwood. I would tape it, but I'm already taping something. Sorry. I can't."

If weeknight TV is a treat for Rob, then Saturday morning is heaven. Pokemon, Pikachu, and many other titles that sound like forms of martial arts are weekly favorites. If I am lucky enough to sleep in on Saturday morning, my dreams are usually influenced by random outbursts by Rob towards the TV about the trials of the Pokemon. Or Pokemons. Or... I don't know.

Although Rob's TV selections may be outliers on the curve of social normality, his video game selections certainly are not. I don't really know what the hell is going on with video games, so I won't try, but I have seen lots of guns, characters that may or may not be animals, and the noises from the TV usually sound like yelping. So it is not the video game play that is amazing about Rob, but the remarkable efficiency with which he defeats video games. Rob buys the game, beats the game, goes to the store, returns game, buys new game, repeats. There is no room in the life of Rob for inactive video games.

Rob's meticulousness when building models is no different from his other hobbies. His current miniatures look like Orks from Lord of the Rings. You know those characters - that basically fit the description of "ugliest possible bastardization of humans"? Well, if you want to know what they are, there is a whole crazy army of them on Rob's desk. I'll admit... I live in fear. I live in the shadow of Mordor.

From this brief piece on Rob, you might think that he is a 6-year-old stuck in a 24-year-old's body. You're wrong. Rob can stretch to the level of a 7-year-old, so don't sell him short. So if you see a guy walking towards the Pearson building wearing a yellow Pokemon t-shirt, say hi to Rob. He's your man. Oh, the people you'll meet.