The Library Zone

Do you ever feel like there are just tons of facts floating around the air in the library? All the people working so hard, running their voices in their own head - creating a forcefield of mental energy? Sometimes I can't focus on my work and I think it's because there's too much knowledge static in the air. Too many people working too diligently.

Let's be honest though. For every one person busting their ass to cram for a test, there are approximately 10 people who are doing anything but work. Some are just smoking cigarettes outside or talking on the phone in the newly-dedicated-between-sets-of-doors cell phone zone. And then there are those who are trying to look like they're doing something. They're in their little desk, with all the books open, the highlighters out, the post-it notes all over the place... but then you look at their laptop, and there are 12 instant-message windows open, and they've got "Your Body is a Wonderland" on repeat on the MP3 player.

There are those, though, who definitely are doing work in the library, and those are the people in the basement in the super silence rooms. Are you aware of these rooms? You may not know about these because they are very frightening. There are actually rules on the door to go in, stating that you can be asked to leave if you make any noise at all. No computers, no headphones... no breathing. These rooms scare the crap out of me. I was once working in here, but the sound of my highlighter against the page caused a fellow studier to act on her right to "ask me to leave" and so I was a goner. I returned upstairs to join the fakers upstairs.

And what about those people in the library that are always there when you are? Now, you're not always at the library, so ... are they? It's so bizarre. It's like they live here. The one guy I always see is an older Asian man with red glasses who has a sweet laptop and a big backpack. I think he's from Fletcher. Are you reading this? Please say hello to me next time I'm at the library. I've always wanted to say hello, but I'm too scared to talk to you -- as you seem so invested in your work when I see you. Which is always.

One library issue that I'd be remiss not address is the phones in the library. Can there be some statute of limitations on the phones? Trust me, the whispering makes no freaking difference. You're still talking! On the phone! "Hey. I'm in the library. So I have to be quiet." Yeah, right. That should be changed to, "Hello. You've reached my phone. It is off right now because I'm at a place where it's unacceptable to have my phone on. Please leave a message and I'll call you back when 50 people won't have to listen to me talk to you. BEEP."

As for my own library habits, I personally feel very accomplished in the library once I've set myself up. Open the bag, take out the books. Spread out the papers, get it all organized. "Good. I'm ready to start. Now, to check my e-mail." The classic thing about library breaks is when you're leaving your laptop at the desk. You see that sign on the wall that is so foreboding: "Never leave your belongings UNATTENDED." So you ask the person next to you. "Hey, can you watch my laptop? I'm going to the Campus Center for some food." Yeah right! When the hell did we establish this Public Citizens' Brigade to protect the laptops? What is this person gonna do when someone comes up to take your computer? "Um, hey. You're not... you're not the guy who said to watch this... are you? Um, stop." That laptop is gone.

I hope your time in the library this finals period is bearable. Whether you're going there to study, talk on the phone, or just stalk the Asian man in red glasses -- enjoy yourself. And don't leave until you hear the mantra: "Attention please. Attention please. The library will close... in 5 minutes."