Here it is, folks...my final column for our little rag.
I thought I'd at least be shaving every day by my fourth year of college. But since I never actually obtained height, I am leaving you with a few tidbits I actually did pick up along my way.
- I have learned that, if you are ever having a bad day, remember this name: Dick Trickle. Always brings a smile to my face.
- I have learned that playing two college sports, while attractive on paper and to admissions, is a sacrifice reserved for the select few who have got the onions.
- Okay, on the same note, I have learned that playing even one college sport is an endeavor reserved for those same onion-toters.
- I have learned that, contrary to what many of us believed would happen, Boston stayed relatively intact following the Curse Busting. Save for some lame "We want Bacow" chants and that one kid who took a swing at the cop, Tufts behaved as I should have expected all along.
- I have learned that heaven might just be last Sunday afternoon - 70 degree day, big screen set up outside with the Sox on, wiffle ball, horseshoes and basketball being played all around us, and a girls' tennis match vs. Williams just across the street. And no school on Monday. I know those moments will be few and far between in due time, unless I somehow slip up between now and May 22 and end up back here next year (Yah, College!)
- I have learned that, given the right circumstances, Tufts can have school spirit. Flash back to last Saturday when the baseball team had a doubleheader with Bowdoin which coincided with a men's lax matchup with Colby. People everywhere, shifting attention from one to the other, actually cheering at certain spots. By "right circumstances," maybe I mean that it was a beautiful, lazy Saturday in spring, or that there were two teams from Maine who needed a beating. You be the judge.
- I have learned that a kid who is a B- waiting to happen on every English paper he's ever written can get published once a week. Whether he should be published or not, again, you be the judge.
- I have learned that at a school of 5,000 kids from who knows how many states and countries, my group of friends can still consist of mainly Massholes. Just water seeking its level, I guess.
- I have learned that a good Saugus, Revere or Everett reference is always a good idea. Particularly if you know the lay of the land as well as some of us do.
- I have learned that were Bob Kraft, Tom Menino and Bob Cousy to have a televised round table discussion, I would buy Tivo just for the event. Some personal faves.
Kraft: "We all awwwl Patwiots!"
Menino: "Much like a cookie, I bewieve the Yankee dynasty wiww cwumble!" Was he comparing himself to a cookie? I'm just saying...
Cousy: "Tommy (as he positions his tongue) the Indiana Pacellls just allen't the same without Ron Allltest."
Yeah, the owner of the best franchise in sports, the mayor of the best city in America for my money and the man who invented the "no look" pass ... why am I hating? I dunno, they just talk funny ...
- I have learned that the Bruins, and hockey itself, is a non-factor to people on this campus. Yes, I know we are in the full throes of a lockout, but even before, after the B's lost a 3-1 lead to the archrival Habitants of Montreal and dropped their opening round series last year, no one was out for blood. Quick, name the Bruins coach who oversaw the collapse. But poor ole Grady Little doesn't escape your wrath. For shame.
- I have learned that there isn't much that brings a smile to my face quicker than seeing Phil Oates after a Celtics win, Ricky Davis jersey and all.
- I have learned that nothing brings a disapproving scowl to my face quicker than watching these S's hone their craft: The Schwab, Stuart Scott, Sean Salisbury and Stephen A. Smith.
- I have learned that crew kids get up at 5 a.m. You know how I know? Because they love to talk about it.
- I have learned that quotes don't get much better than this one from Bobby Knight. "All of us learn to write in second grade. Then most of us go on to other things."
If I can't play ball at Texas Tech, what better alternative than to enjoy the closest thing I'll get to a tongue lashing from The General himself?
- I have learned that, for every time I watched a Big Ten football or ACC basketball game and thought to myself, "To be a part of that would be awesome," there is no place I would rather be right now than right here.
... Well, maybe Acapulco, but that is for entirely different reasons.
Adios, Jumboville ... have fun making your own memories.
