Angelina and Brad. Jude Law and his nanny. This past summer, the tabloid buzz had a definite theme: cheating. In order to prevent heartbreak, I've tried to help all you Tufts males with some insight into how to tell if your girlfriend is cheating on you.
She gets mad at you when you hang out with other girls.
Envy can affect all people. Jealousy can even be comforting, reassuring you that your girlfriend actually cares. But being overly covetous is a bad sign: if your girlfriend suddenly seems overprotective, it might mean that she is the one cheating. Her guilt can cause her to look for a reason to get mad at you to justify her own actions. Even if she never cared that your math partner was female, she might begin to imagine a scenario in which you are unfaithful to her to feel better about herself.
She makes sexual acts seem like business transactions.
Early on, your sex life was fabulous. But these days, your girlfriend makes even kissing seem like a chore. If she doesn't face your sexual life as an enjoyable aspect of your relationship, she is most likely unhappy. This doesn't necessarily mean she is being unfaithful, but it can be a warning sign.
Talk to her and try to find out what you can do to make her happier or more comfortable. If the situation continues, it might mean that she's simply finishing her responsibility with you so she can rush off to another boy to really enjoy herself.
She keeps you separated from her friends back home.
College means new beginnings. Entering a new city or state gives you the ability to escape your past. Alternately, some students may want to show off their past, bringing significant others home during school breaks. It's great if your girlfriend wants you to be a part of her "other life," but sometimes, for numerous reasons, she might try to keep her two lives separated.
This can be a sticky situation. On the one hand, you need to respect her feelings. But on the other hand, it can be hurtful when she doesn't want you to meet her friends from home.
There can be legitimate explanations for this: maybe she's embarrassed by her high school life, or perhaps she stopped communicating with people of her past. But there is the possibility that she is hiding something from you.
Let's say you go home with her over Thanksgiving break, and she keeps making excuses as to why you have not yet met her friends. In situations like this, demand honesty. Assure her that you won't judge her past. At the same time, however, question her intentions to keep you uninvolved.
She starts to put more effort into her appearance.
Many girls think that once they have a boyfriend, they don't have to worry so much about their appearance. They might start giving in to late-night pizza temptations or take five instead of 30 minutes to get ready for class. I never understood this phenomenon, always wanting to keep up my personal appearance for myself.
But if your girlfriend was one of those girls who stopped dressing up when you two became serious, for starters, I'm sorry. Secondly, if she suddenly starts caring again, this might be a sign that she is trying to impress someone.
If that somebody is you, great! But be cautious if out of the blue your girlfriend changes her hair, applies more makeup and/or wears sexier clothes. It might mean she's trying to capture the eye of the cute boy in her history class - or even worse, she already has.
She doesn't pick up your calls when she's out with her "friends."
Friends are a major factor in every relationship. While it may be great to spend every free minute with your girlfriend, sometimes you need to get away and kick back with the boys. And guess what? Your girlfriend needs alone time, too.
You want to trust her when she goes to a bar with her girlfriends. But in the back of your mind, you wonder, "Is she flirting with anyone right now? Is she dressed too provocatively?" And ultimately, "Will she have a few too many drinks and cheat on me?"
No girl likes an overly jealous boyfriend. I'm not saying you should call your girlfriend every minute to check up on her, but a call every once in a while does restore her faith that you care.
If she doesn't pick up, she might not have heard her phone above the music or the rowdy bar talk, but there is a thing called screening. If your girlfriend has a pattern of not answering her cell while she's out, talk to her about it. But be careful with your approach: You don't want to come across as the green-eyed man.
Instead, let her know that you miss her when she's gone, and you'd love it if you could just say a quick hello when you two are apart.
She starts to tell you that she loves you more often.
This is a tricky one. On the one hand, she really might just want to express her happiness with your relationship by saying "I love you" every time she blinks. But sometimes, when a girlfriend is cheating, she says "I love you" to try to convince you that she cares. It's part her own guilt and part her desire to deceive you.
If her words are accompanied by actions, I wouldn't worry. But if your girlfriend otherwise seems standoffish, cold or distant, question why she has to continuously profess her love.
How to tell if your boyfriend is cheating.
If you're a girl reading this, start from the beginning, changing the female pronouns to masculine ones. Most of these work for the opposite sex as well.
