The French voice is a funny thing. While eavesdropping on two French coquettes recounting last night's soiree at the discotheque, the voice sounds melodious, silly, and elegant, like sparrows rejoicing in spring. On the other hand, the man shouting in French on his mobile phone at midnight outside the Geneva train station sounds like a hoarse bullfrog: somewhat slimy and impotent.
But for the most enjoyable, and most appealing, incarnation of la belle langue, I refer you to a voice without a face, a voice that can lull me to sleep in all its nasally vowels and unpronounced consonants.
That voice is the dubbing voice for the character Dr. John Carter on the French-language version of E.R., called "Urgences." (Yes, I realize I have already written about the inimitable Noah Wyle in the space of this column. His great beauty, like cell phone bills and bad haircuts, follows me everywhere. My time in Switzerland is enhanced by his memory.)
But calm down, folks, this week's column is not about Noah Wyle, even in all his glory. It is about dubbing. The same dubbing that keeps you staring at the screen bug-eyed, trying to decide whether to follow the words shaped by the actors' mouths or the words emanating out of the television speakers. Who is speaking? Why is his mouth moving when no words are coming out? When did television become so complicated?
In fact, television is so complicated these days that it plays into relations between nations. The en vogue America-bashers like to talk about American unilateralism and American hegemony, and critics write books and give speeches on this topic. But has the anti-American contingent considered television? American hegemony may well be expressed in our unilateralism in invading Iraq, but it can also be well understood by looking at the way we export American television programming.
It's not as if American TV shows haven't been watched and adored for years in foreign countries. Many Europeans have gushed about David Hasselhoff on "Baywatch" and giggled over "The Simpsons," a familiarity imparted through the filter of dubbing. But while Pam still had the double-D's, something was lost in translation. "Baywatch" just isn't "Baywatch" without that fabulous, clean Southern California accent (yours truly, naturally, hailing from this exalted part of the world).
So while ten years ago the globalization of television still had the non-English-speaking world turned on its head, the interlocutors of television in Europe have today truly come into their own. And in no country have they mastered the art of dubbing better than in France. For this devotee of Thursday nights with the staff of E.R., I can tell you that "Urgences" is no cheap American import. "Urgences," with the skill of the voice-over actors, is truly a French television program.
As hard as it is to admit, when I'm watching "Urgences" I almost don't miss "E.R." I find myself caught up in Abby's soft yet competent enunciation and Luka's brooding and masculine timbre (how ironic that a Croatian actor speaking English is dubbed into French).
The cast of characters speak a type of French that is a far cry from the "froggy French" of stereotypes and miscommunications. This is the French of the international era, the language that has just the word for every situation, and that sounds best coming from the mouths of diplomats and artists and lovers.
Or so French nationalists would like you to believe. The reality is that, while French television producers may have co-opted the sound track of American TV shows, the French language has nonetheless lost its title as the world's lingua franca. Indeed, the cafes of Geneva are filled with African diplomats, Kazak nationalists, and Australian aid workers all animatedly conversing-in English.
Of course, French is certainly a lovely language, and it is highly helpful when trying to buy a train a ticket at the Geneva station. But in the international streets of this city, it is English that is par for the course. Of course I will continue to enjoy my "Urgences" and the juiciness of Dr. Carter reincarnated as a Frenchman, and I will still desperately try to escape my idiotic American monolingualism. But for all the French coquettes and excellent voice-over actors, the French language has fallen out of the race to be the language of our global world. But while the clock is still ticking, can I just ask that Noah Wyle speak French on "E.R."? It'd be so hot.
