If there's one thing that Paris Hilton has taught us, it's that making up (but, not, in her case, making out) is hard to do. Her well-publicized but mostly uninteresting feuds are as infinite as her daddy's money, but her little tiff with once-BFF Nicole Richie seemed more than just tabloid fodder; that is to say, real.
Feuds are certainly nothing new to the arts department; after all, the phrase "artistic differences" came from somewhere. This feud, so epic in its scale (it must have lasted, for, OMG, a year or something) and its happy resolution piqued our interest. We're not excited that Hilton and Richie have reunited; instead, we realize, in light of this occurrence, who should bury the hatchet.
If these brave girls can reconcile for the fifth season of "The Simple Life," asking Nickelodeon just to reunite the original cast for "Global Guts: Post-Adolescence" doesn't seem too much to ask.
10. Tom Cruise and Mimi Rogers - We liked Tom better when he wasn't jumping on couches, yelling at Brooke Shields and lying to America about his sexuality. Well, maybe he was lying to America about his sexuality, but far less conspicuously. Tom and Mimi were married when Cruise was in his "Top Gun" (1986)/"Rain Man" (1988) prime and Katie Holmes was still learning to multiply. Maybe Mimi can cure him of Scientology and save his career all at once?
9. Tim Gunn and Santino - We miss Santino's impressions of Tim on this season's "Project Runway." While Vincent was a pretty entertaining nut-job for a while, his eccentricity's got nothing on Santino's dead-on, hilarious Tim impersonations. Come on, Tim and Santino, "make it work" in some kind of reunion episode.
8. Starland Vocal Band - If the unending popularity of their opus is any indication, we have so much more to learn from this '70s-era folk band. When will we hear about mid-afternoon/mid-morning/early-evening delight? The possibilities are endless. And, SVB, you had something; after all, your motto's always been, "when it's right, it's right."
7. Mike O'Malley and Moira "Mo" Quirk of Nickelodeon's "Global Guts" - If recurring dreams are any indication, this has been in the making for years. We've seen the Aggro Crag every night for the past three years, six months, one week, and two nights, and believe us: It's just as good as you remember it.
6. Bill Clinton and Monica Lewinsky - Strictly from an arts/entertainment standpoint, this wonderful union made for much better political drama than the guy who can't pronounce the word "nuclear." Hillary definitely doesn't need him anyway. Let's not lie: she's got the balls of a brass monkey.
5. Katie Couric and Matt Lauer - Without Katie, NBC execs have instructed Al Roker to drastically increase his perkiness. The results will not be pretty - even less pretty than usual.
4. Nirvana - The world's most overrated band will stage an epic reunion tour with Courtney Love on vocals, as Kurt would have truly wanted it. As per Courtney's request, they will play only at huge venues named after multi-national corporations and auction off their equipment after every show. He would have wanted it that way.
3. Billy Bob Thornton and Angelina Jolie - When they run out of stores of each other's blood to drink, they'll start jonesing ? la Wesley Snipes in "Blade." Things will work themselves out naturally.
2. Kenan and Kel - With Kenan's rumored departure from "SNL" and Kel's general departure from stardom, it may be that the only thing that these two less-than-"all that" child stars need for success is a miracle. And, lacking that, each other and a good job at "Good Burger."
1. Ben Affleck and his dignity - Matt Damon will come through like a knight in shining armor with a swift, lean forearm to the back of the head and remind his wayward friend that he actually used to be kind of tight. Signs point to this having already occurred (see The Daily's review of "Hollywoodland.")
- Daily Arts Staff
