This week was not kind to college football coaches, as both Miami's Larry Coker and Alabama's Mike Shula were chased out of town after disappointing seasons. The firings didn't end there - in the NFL, the Broncos were ousting their quarterback, Jake Plummer, and in hockey, the Chicago Blackhawks said goodbye to coach Trent Yawney. These days, it appears that no one's job is truly safe. And maybe that's a good thing. In our opinion, these 10 sports figures also deserve the pink slip...
10. Tom Coughlin. How do you give up 24 unanswered points to the Tennessee Titans? The Giants easily have the best players in the NFC but have somehow managed to lose three straight games. Some may say bench Eli Manning, but we think Coughlin is the real problem.
9. Rex Grossman. Can you imagine where the Bears would be with a competent quarterback who doesn't throw interceptions by forcing passes into double coverage? With a defense like theirs, they'd probably be the 2004 Patriots.
8. Brian Scalabrine. Can somebody please tell us what he does well? He has absolutely no offensive game, he can't dribble, he doesn't play good defense, and despite being 6'9", he isn't a great rebounder. Celtics GM Danny Ainge must have signed the guy for pure comedic value. Just LOOK at that red hair.
7. Bill Stoneman. Fifty million dollars over five years for a guy who had a one-career year? We all know Gary Matthews Jr. isn't worth that kind of cash. Well, all of us except Stoneman, the Angels' GM. How much longer can he keep his job?
6. Whoever ends up signing Jeff Suppan and Jeff Weaver. If anyone willingly takes on this pair of worthless arms, we're going to vomit. Nobody, and we mean absolutely nobody, should be fooled into thinking they're legitimate major league pitchers. Hey, even the blind squirrel finds a nut every now and then.
5. Matt Millen. If an NBA general manager drafted three straight defensive specialists with a top ten pick for three straight years, don't you think the guy would get canned for focusing too much on one area? How has Millen gotten away with three straight wide receiver picks (Charles Rogers, Roy Williams, and Mike Williams), as well as picking Joey Harrington, and still kept his job?
4. Stuart Scott. We really just want to say, "You're fired! BOOYAH!" He's gone from being "cool as the other side of the pillow" to being the most stale and contrite sportscaster on ESPN. Can we get a witness from the congregation?
3. The BCS. Yes, that's right, we're firing an entire computer system. We're doing this in advance, because we know it's going to mess up. After all, Michigan went 11-1 and gave Ohio State a great battle, but the computer says we can't watch a rematch.
2. Isiah Thomas. Do we really have to explain this one? The Knicks are a disaster. If anyone can explain how a team with the three-headed monster ball-hogging force of Steve Francis, Stephon Marbury and Jamal Crawford can manage to produce actual wins, please step forward. Never mind the fact that they're a financial mess.
1. Ozzie Guillen. We hesitate to write this, because we're just asking for a bunch of homophobic slurs to come our way. But it has to be said - the man has no clue how to put together a lineup that scores runs. Honestly, how hard is it to see the utter worthlessness of guys like Scott Podsednik and Alex Cintron?
- by Alex Bloom and Evans Clinchy
