Over the break, whenever I turned on the television or read a newspaper or magazine, I was bombarded with stories reviewing the best and worst aspects of 2006.
Like you, I was named Time Magazine's "Person of the Year." Britney Spears won a hotly contested race for 2006's most controversial celebrity. There were a number of stupidly entertaining and scary occurrences documented over the last year. Now that we are further along into January, the news is beginning to make the all-important transition from reviewing 2006 to predicting 2007. In this spirit, I am going to make monthly predictions about what lies ahead for us Tufts students in the spring of 2007.
January: The combination of holiday eating, New Year's resolutions and spring break plans will create a perfect storm that leads to rush-hour-like traffic in the gym for the first two weeks. During these two weeks, it will be impossible to see the reflection of yourself flexing at the mirror without someone impeding your view. New classes will begin and each freshmen and sophomore will add at least 10 new friends on Facebook.com. Also on Facebook.com, new groups will be created that mix surviving major snow storms with drinking and sex. Winter Bash will hire a major DJ who will play the same mix of "Sexy Back" and "Hips Don't Lie" that you hear in fraternity basements.
February: The gym will return to normal levels, and lines will reappear at the soft-serve machine as people give up on their New Year's resolutions. If you have a girlfriend or boyfriend, you will go to the North End for Valentine's Day. If not, you will get together with all your single friends. There will be the Super Bowl and more chick flicks than anyone can see. Girls give guys at least one Sunday to mourn the loss of football, and guys see at least one chick flick to get back in touch with their sensitive side.
March: There will be another spike in gym attendance as people prepare for their spring break trips. The weather will become sunny and bright, but as you prepare to transition back to shorts and skirts, there will be a major snowstorm. You will face the obligatory "what are you doing for Spring Break" conversation before you leave, followed by the other "what did you do for Spring Break" conversation when you get back. Baseball will start and people will begin to live and die by the Red Sox. Britney Spears will begin dating someone, and we will be overwhelmed with her pictures and the "where is he now" stories about Kevin Federline.
April: The sun will come out and the snow will melt. There will be a week where everyone you know who lives off campus will have a barbeque at their house. Freshmen will begin to say, "I can't believe I'm about to finish my first year;" sophomores will say, "I can't believe I'm almost halfway done with college;" juniors will say, "I can't believe I am going to be a senior;" and seniors will lament the uncertainty of their futures. We will have Spring Fling, one of the three designated fun days on campus where Tufts begins to resemble an anarchic commune.
May: Fortunately, the weather gets nicer. Unfortunately, our work will keep us in our rooms or the library. As the school year ends, freshmen, sophomore and junior guys will leave with high hopes for the incoming Class of 2011, and seniors will celebrate hard while they bid their final farewells.
