Ah, Commencement Day - the day you've all been waiting for. After four years of hard work you, the Class of 2007, have finally made it. You came, you saw, and eight semesters and 34 credits later, you conquered. Congratulations.
And here I am, stuck here finishing my sophomore year like a sucker. To those of you graduating today, be thankful. The Jumbos you leave behind will have to suffer through two more years of me.
So while many of the other columnists in today's Daily will use this space to reminisce, to wax poetic and to mourn the loss of the best four years of their lives, I write my last column of the semester with an entirely different purpose in mind. I'm here to do what I do best: complain.
I've spent my year as a sports columnist dutifully covering what I set out to cover from day one: the greatest sports city in the world, the one and only Boston, Mass. And, jinx that I am, I've witnessed a meltdown of disastrous proportions since penning my first column back in September.
Across the board, I've watched all of my favorite teams tank (pun intended, Mr. Rivers). The Red Sox finished third in the AL East for the first time in a decade, the Patriots executed the worst choke in their team's history during the AFC title game at Indianapolis, the Celtics played at a level somewhere in between Conn. College and Wesleyan, and the Bruins continued to give me no reason to care about them whatsoever.
It's been a long, hard year. So hard that despite my best intentions, I've had to resort to such pathetically boring column topics as equipment trucks, U2 songs, Tim McCarver, and - please, God, I beg your forgiveness - National League baseball. I hate myself.
Here's the worst part. While this may be one of the worst sports years Boston has seen in recent memory, there is most definitely an end in sight. This summer - yes, the summer, the part of the year when there are no Daily columns - is going to be one of the best summers this city's sports fans have ever seen. Just think of all the stories I'd love to be writing, but I'll never get a chance...
Let's start with those 24-58 Celtics. Obviously, this season was a disaster. But luckily, that disaster stemmed primarily from youth and inexperience, problems that are bound to disappear with time. This year's roster included a pair of recent high school graduates, Al Jefferson and Gerald Green, who showed promise. One averaged a double-double (16 and 11) in his third season, and the other won the dunk contest (a surefire route to superstardom - just ask Michael Jordan) in his second.
To make matters better, Jefferson, Green, Paul Pierce and Wally Szczerbiak will be joined on June 28 by one of the game's biggest rising stars (identity TBA). With the NBA's second-worst record, the Celtics are left with a 39 percent chance to nab a top-two lottery pick, and by my calculations, that means a 39 percent chance of them making their best draft pick since Larry Bird.
Is it too optimistic to say that Greg Oden is the next Bill Russell, and Kevin Durant is the next Larry? Perhaps. But even if that's a slight stretch of the truth, it's hard to deny: the Celtics can do no wrong with either one. If the ping-pong balls go Boston's way, this year's draft will bring redemption for Danny Ainge's four years of complete ineptitude (well, almost).
Speaking of drafts, it's hard to imagine a better one than the Patriots had last month. They added Miami alum Brandon Meriweather to their secondary, possibly to become a much-needed partner in crime for Rodney Harrison at safety. They added three new bodies to their offensive line and grabbed a couple of linebackers to boot. And with some creative wheeling and dealing, they also added a five-time Pro Bowl receiver named Randy Moss.
While Tom Brady struggled to find a favorite target in 2006, it appears that he'll have little trouble next time around. Former Raider Moss joins a receiving core that includes three other recent acquisitions - former Eagle Donte Stallworth, former Bengal Kelley Washington and former Dolphin Wes Welker. Pop quiz - can you name a single Pats receiver on next year's team returning from the '06 squad? Trick question. The answer is "it doesn't matter."
Winners of three of the past six Super Bowls, the Pats are clearly not content to let the dynasty die now. Nay; having shored up every weakness from last year's 12-4 squad, this team is set to have its best season ever. And in Boston, it may not be alone.
How about them Red Sox? You'd think I'd have learned my lesson about jinxes last year, when my predicted first-place finish for the 2006 Sox turned out two notches lower. But instead, I'll just go ahead and kick it up a notch. The Red Sox are the best team in baseball. This isn't the first time I've made such a statement - in fact, my column on April 4 included it (verbatim - I checked). And after watching the first month of the season, I have absolutely no reason to back down now.
The Red Sox' DH is again having one of the best seasons a player at his "position" has ever had, their closer is again proving to be the best in baseball, and the second starter in their rotation is subtly hinting that he prefers to go by "Cy Young candidate Josh Beckett," and not "hey, you with the 5.01 ERA."
But the biggest factor in the Sox' dominance so far hasn't been any of the above. Instead, it has been the emergence of their middle relievers. Jonathan Papelbon is still lights-out in the ninth inning, and that's not surprising, but I had no idea what this team had in store for innings six through eight. To Hideki Okajima, Brendan Donnelly and even Joel Pi?±eiro, I give a surprised tip of my cap.
So for all of these reasons, Boston is about to see a summer unlike any other in its sports pages. As the Red Sox continue their best season since Tris Speaker hit .383 and Smokey Joe Wood won 34, the Celtics will revive their franchise in the draft room, and the Patriots will open camp with visions of a 16-0 finish dancing in their heads, I'll be sitting here, wishing I had a column to brag about it.
Oh well. At least the Bruins still suck.
Evans Clinchy is a sophomore majoring in English. He can be reached at Evans.Clinchy@tufts.edu.
