Undoubtedly, all you seniors are looking to the future right now - planning to enter graduate school, getting ready to start your backpacking tour of Europe, preparing to take the corporate world by storm, or even testing how long you can live in your parents' basement before Mom figures out that funny smell isn't the incense you're burning like you told her.
Undoubtedly, you'll all leave the Hill and ultimately rise to the tops of your respective professions, like any good Tufts grad should. Perhaps some of you will even crack into the world of professional sports and manage a team. If you do, a word of advice: don't make any draft picks as stupid as these.
10.) Heath Shuler, Washington Redskins. The Tennessee quarterback went third overall in the 1994 NFL Draft, and he immediately proved himself incapable of running a professional football team. Shuler threw 19 picks in his first 18 games, eventually got benched for seventh-round selection Gus Frerotte, and was out of the league by 1999. I think he's bounced back nicely, though - if you can't be an NFL quarterback, go be a congressman.
9.) Michael Olowokandi, Los Angeles Clippers. After winning the 1998 NBA draft lottery, the Clippers made the "sterling" pick of an uncoordinated seven-foot guy from the University of Pacific. Oh really? You mean a guy who's been dunking on UC-Riverside and Cal-State Northridge might not be as good as the film makes him look? Vince Carter, Paul Pierce or Dirk Nowitzki might have been better selections here.
8.) Josh Hamilton, Tampa Bay Devil Rays. Hamilton is the poster boy for the saying, "If it sounds too good to be true, it probably is." Snagged with the first pick of baseball's 1999 amateur draft, Hamilton boasted a four-pitch repertoire - including a 97-mph fastball - tremendous power at the plate and was good-looking and articulate to boot.
He also struggled with an addiction to OxyContin that kept him out of professional baseball for the last four years and nearly cost him his life. Hamilton has recently caught on with the Cincinnati Reds as a utility outfielder and, thankfully, seems to have turned his life around.
7.) Tony Mandarich, Green Bay Packers. Mandarich might be the second-highest-profile bust in NFL history. Sports Illustrated declared him "The Best Offensive Line Prospect Ever" on its cover in 1989, but Mandarich's eye-popping combine numbers didn't translate to on-field success. Should sound familiar to Texans fans ... and ironically, Barry Sanders came off the board just a few picks later in the '89 draft.
6.) Robert "Tractor" Traylor, Milwaukee Bucks. In what is probably the greatest draft-day heist in NBA history, the Mavericks selected Traylor with the sixth pick in the 1998 draft and traded him to the Bucks for the rights to a guy named Dirk Nowitzki. The latter just won his first MVP; the former had 10 rebounds in a game one time, and these days, he can most likely be spotted at a Denny's near you.
5.) Joe Barry Carroll, Golden State Warriors. Celtics fans must just cackle with glee every time they hear Joe Barry's name. Red's squad had just won the first pick in the 1980 NBA draft, and the Warriors were so desperate to get their hands on Carroll that they traded Robert Parish and the third pick for him - a pick that the Celtics used to select Kevin McHale. Chalk up three championships for Boston.
4.) Kurt Brown, Chicago White Sox. I had no idea who this guy was before I started poking around on the Internet. Turns out the White Sox spent the fifth pick in the 1985 draft on Brown, a high school catcher who never made it to the big leagues. The sixth pick in that draft belonged to the Pittsburgh Pirates, and they used it on an outfielder from Arizona State named Barry Bonds. Perhaps some of you have heard of him.
3.) LaRue Martin, Portland Trail Blazers. The Blazers blew the first pick of the 1972 NBA draft on this stiff, who lasted all of four seasons in the NBA. Perhaps one of the two Hall of Famers who went in the first 10 picks, Bob McAdoo and Paul Westphal, would have been a better choice. Yet this isn't even the worst draft selection the Blazers have ever made.
2.) Ryan Leaf, San Diego Chargers. Remember how Mandarich was the second-biggest NFL bust ever? Leaf qualifies as the first. He tore up the Pac-10 during his senior season at Washington State and was a lock to be one of the first two picks in the 1998 draft - along with Peyton Manning.
The latter might retire as the greatest quarterback ever to play the game; the former threw 14 touchdowns, 36 interceptions and approximately 70,000 temper tantrums before getting the unceremonious boot from the NFL.
1.) Sam Bowie, Portland Trail Blazers. Basically every NBA fan with a pulse knows the story here: 1984 draft, Hakeem goes first to the Rockets, Big Sam gets drafted by the Blazers, and His Airness falls into Chicago's lap at No. 3. The Blazers figured that they didn't need Michael Jordan because they already had Clyde Drexler on the wing. Excuse me while I pound my head on my keyboard.
Raise your hand if you think a nucleus of Jordan, Drexler, Terry Porter, Jerome Kersey, Kiki Vandeweghe and Mychal Thompson might have won a title or two?
Best of luck, Class of 2007.
Matthew Mertens is a sophomore majoring in Spanish. He can be reached at Matthew.Mertens@tufts.edu.
