In order to make this a fair fight, let's assume that Tupac has been brought back from the dead in normal human form, because if he was some kind of living undead zombie, that would just be unfair to the others. Except maybe Fiddy; he could take on the undead. Have you heard that guy has been shot nine times? That's kind of crazy.
In the first round of this fight, P. Diddy would probably announce something along the lines of, "Vote or Die man, and the time for voting is over, so y'all are going to have to die." While Kanye quietly asks Fiddy who the "Two-pack guy is," Tupac would take care of Diddy with one fell swoop, probably an uppercut that knocks out some teeth. For some reason, it seems fitting that Diddy would be completely unable to protect himself without some form of a posse.
With Diddy taken care of, 50 Cent would make the neophyte mistake of wagering he could outsell Tupac in the next year, the conditions being that if Tupac loses, he has to retire from the fight, and vice versa. As we all know, Tupac has released and sold more albums posthumously than when alive, so Fiddy would retire with a sigh, only to be shot another nine times while walking out of the cage. Strangely enough, 50 Cent will survive this attack, too, only to succumb to tertiary syphilis a year later.
After a costume change, Kanye will become distracted while trying to choose the most pompous and pretentious pair of sunglasses he can find. Similarly, Tupac would have begun the recording process of his first after-un-death album in the other corner of the ring. After officials prod the two to get them back to fighting, Tupac's lawyers would inform him that dying again would boost record sales of his new album, resulting in Tupac's self-inflicted demise.
So, without a doubt the winner would have to be the vertically-challenged, over-dressed, but indubitably talented Kanye West.
