The Red Sox won the World Series! So after today's victory parade, or "rolling rally," or whatever Mayor Thomas M. Menino wants to call it, how will you cope without baseball in your life?
Don't despair, sports fans, for the Daily offers you the top 10 offseason distractions to keep you entertained until spring training begins. Though our precious pastime is over, here are the upsides:
10. Dane Cook: Baseball fans rejoice, for you will never again be forced to hear the over-articulated garble of once-funny comedian Dane Cook. He made us laugh in his standup skits. He was all right in "Waiting." But he was just downright annoying getting in the face of baseball fans every half inning with his "there is only one October" bit. Dane, stick with jokes about pet monkeys and car alarms. Baseball's not your thing.
9. Pats-Colts: The Patriots and Colts are playing Sunday in a battle of unbeaten teams in Indy, and trust me, you will be hearing about it all week. Turn on ESPN and look forward to analysis from everyone who has ever seen a football game. And once one of them wins, we can look forward to months of montages on the NFL's next undefeated team. Look out, '72 Dolphins.
8. Tufts sports: To the surprise of many, Div. III sports are far from the little cousin of big-name sports and are, in fact, pretty thrilling. To be fair, it's kind of our thing here at Daily Sports, but we're here to spread the love. In the coming weeks, the Jumbos will compete for NESCAC titles in women's soccer, field hockey and volleyball, while the football team also battles for the top spot in the conference. Get into it.
7. Naked Quad Run: More people watch this event than a regular-season Rockies game, and it causes more injuries than the Philadelphia Flyers and Chuck Norris combined. Rip off that Red Sox jersey for the winter, and on the last day of winter classes, rip off those pants as well in the spirit of the real Winter Games.
6. Garnett and the Celtics: With KG and Ray Allen in the fold to join Paul Pierce, Boston (and Eastern Conference) basketball is about to get fun again. And with the success of the Red Sox and the Patriots, maybe Boston will be adding three championship banners this year.
5. 24, Season 7: Ladies and gentlemen, the moment you have all been waiting for: Day 7 of 24 will premier Jan. 13 on FOX. As if the first 144 hours of action-packed fun weren't enough, now you get to see Jack Bauer go farther than he's ever gone before. Wait, you say! Is that even possible? Hasn't he already risen from the dead and taken on every terrorist on earth single-handedly? Well, when the masterminds at FOX come together, brilliance can happen - just look at Man vs. Beast.
4. BC football: Can you imagine what will happen if the Eagles win the national championship? Seeing as how the majority of fans rioting after the Red Sox victory were drunken college kids, if the undefeated Eagles can get to New Orleans and come away with a title, the ensuing riots would most likely put the Sox's celebrations to shame ... and perhaps burn Boston to the ground.
3. Where will A-Rod and Kobe go? They are the two most talented players in their respective sports, and both could have new addresses in the coming months. A-Rod tried to upstage the World Series by having his agent Scott Boras announce that he had opted out of his contract with the Yankees. Good luck finding that $30 million a year deal, Alex. Meanwhile, Bryant enjoyed a summer full of trade requests and Andrew Bynum bashing (America's new favorite pastime) and could be moved to the Eastern Conference before February's trade deadline.
2. Winter: That's right! The end of baseball season means that all of us here at Tufts get to look forward to single-digit temperatures and deadly East Coast gusts. Put away your catcher's mitt and take out your parka, because the only white ball you'll see for the next five months will be made out of snow.
1. NASCAR: America's favorite athletes will be out in full force and all over television now that that pesky sport of baseball is off the air. Who needs 98-mile-an-hour Papelbon fastballs when you can keep your eyes glued to a car with a giant Cheerios logo doing 198 and taking hard lefts for three hours?
-by Tim Judson and Ethan Landy
