Midterms are the worst. Slacking off is so rewarding until it becomes clear that: 1) there's a test on the seven books you neglected to read during the first month of school, 2) that test is in the middle of October, and 3) that's tomorrow.
At least finals are expected. There is even a specific time allotted for them - although some professors neglect to acknowledge this - AND there's a "reading period" to give you a chance to devote 72 hours to catching up. Now there's a quality concept.
Mid-things just have a terrible way of sneaking up on us without notice - like Middle School. Here is a list of 10 other less-than-enjoyable mid-things that we are certain we could live without.
10. Middle School: Taking a quick look into our deep, dark pasts of braces, school dances and that horrifyingly awkward transition from cute fifth grader to pubescent pre-teen is enough to make anyone kill their Tamagotchi, stomp on their butterfly clips and throw out their angst-ridden journals.
9. Midlife Crisis: We all know we're doomed to face it: The only question is whether we'll cheat on our spouses, buy a sports car or get a crush on our daughter's best friend and imagine she's covered in rose petals ...
8. Middies: You won't find elitist stoners (you know the ones that know the names to all the different kinds of headies?) smoking this mid-grade bud, but it's sometimes worth the price if all you want is to get the job done.
7. Midwest: Okay, so the Midwest produces most of America's cheese, cars and white rappers - it's also the country Bob Dylan's from - but who honestly wants to live in its suburban wastelands? Besides, it snows so much there that people have front doors on the second floor of their houses.
6. Middle East: The place is mostly desert - that just doesn't sound comfortable. Not to mention, a certain country has the tendency to invade/drop bombs all over the place. Let's just say that unless you have a thing for camels, this probably wouldn't be the best vacation destination.
5. Midi-chlorians: You don't even know what these are, do you? Are they the parasitic transporters of an STD? Do they live in your lower intestine? Well, if you're a Jedi, the answer is yes - to both. So be careful what you do with your lightsaber, or you'll end up like Anakin and be a whiny bitch.4. Mid-sentence: ... and the Turkey fell over.
3. Midseason Replacement: If a show is not quite good enough to make the fall television lineup, it will occasionally make its way onto the air around January once other terrible shows have been cancelled. Some midseason replacements are instant classics. For example, who can forget last year's "Raines" or "The Wedding Bells"? Oh, that's right: everyone.
2. Middle Child: The oldest is the golden child, the youngest is the baby. What are you? You're nothing. You're an attention-starved blip on your parents' radar, destined to look for love in all the wrong places. Grab a pack of cigarettes and a bottle of whiskey; no matter what you do, you'll never get the recognition you deserve.
1. Midriff: Is it sexy or just tacky? Maybe it was cool to expose your midriff - much to your teachers' dismay - in middle school, but that was then, and this is now. In the words of my mother, "Did you pay half price for that? Because it's half a shirt!"
-compiled by the Daily Arts Department
