Great sex is relatively hard to come by. It's not everyday you get a body-numbing orgasm with someone you actually care about.
But for those of us who are in relationships, there are three types of sex that, no matter what, are going to be amazing: make-up sex, break-up sex and goodbye sex.
No matter how happy I am in a relationship, I always seem to find myself in the most inane fights. Everything will be great until I start some ridiculous argument over absolutely nothing. Of course, I am not the only instigator of these disagreements, but I happily participate in fights over something as simple as the moon (apparently a new moon is not the same as a full moon).
Regardless of the reason, arguing leaves both parties unhappy and full of animosity. You're mad at him for not noticing your manicure; he's mad at you for expecting him to. You find a million reasons to be angry even if you know it's pointless.
Staying mad is probably harder than just letting go and forgiving. And the whole time you're fighting, the last thing you want to do is have sex.
But let me tell you, as soon as one of you cracks and apologizes, there is nothing better.
Make-up sex is particularly great sex because you still have a little anger in you. You're a little more passionate, a little more aggressive and a lot more determined. After a fight, you most certainly deserve to get what you want. And even though you've made up, it's totally OK to take your residual anger out on each other. If the fight was over something big, like breaking a promise - or something small, like the moon - reconciliation is the sweetest thing. Make up with some intense sex, and your fight will have been totally worthwhile.
I mentioned in the past that break-up sex is some of the very best sex you can have. I support that statement wholeheartedly.
Break-up sex is so phenomenal because of the emotional state at the time. There are multiple facets to breakups, and the sex you have at the end is contingent on the overall attitude of the break up. If you're breaking up on bad terms, then the sex (if there is any) will be hot and hard. Just like make-up sex, sex after a bad breakup is a little angry and really sexy. While we don't want to get hurt, aggressive sex is passionate and thrilling - a great tension releaser after breaking up.
If you're parting ways consensually, the ending sex is going to be toned down a bit and not nearly as fun as sex after a bad breakup. But the prospect of never seeing this person naked again will surely make it memorable. One last hoorah, if you will.
Finally, if you're breaking up because you "have to," meaning you both don't necessarily want to but external factors are forcing you to, then the sex is going to be about preservation and reflection. It sounds boring, but it leads me to one of the best forms of sex, at the border between break-up sex and never-going-to-see-you-again sex: goodbye sex is probably the hottest.
Faced with the prospect of not seeing someone for a long time, be it two weeks or two years, the sex you'll have on the eve of departure is sensational. It's your last time for a long time and you both know you've gotta make it count.
These instances are all arguably negative scenarios. But instead of dwelling on the bad, think about all the good coming, so to speak, your way.
Lara Levi is a junior majoring in art history. She can be reached at lara.levi@tufts.edu.
