For those who aren't in the know, porn star Jenna Jameson's new movie, "Zombie Strippers," hits theaters this weekend, and if that isn't enough to get you excited to be alive, we don't know what is. As always, that got us thinking: If strippers can be made more awesome by the addition of zombies, what other movies could we up the awesome-factor for?
10. "Tuesdays with Morrie" (1999): I saw Morrie today. He couldn't use the bathroom on his own anymore. Also, he bit a large chunk out of my thigh. But it's what he said afterwards that got me: "Mrahhhggzzzz."
9. "The Sound of Music" (1965): The hills are alive ... with Nazi zombies!
8. "Pretty Woman" (1990): She's a walking-dead prostitute with a craving for brains. He's a successful, wealthy businessman. Can she overcome her lowly background to win his heart? It's going to take more than makeup. (Actually, you could just take the makeup off Julia Roberts, and she'd look the part.)
7. "Take the Lead" (2006): Antonio Banderas is a teacher assigned to an underprivileged school of zombies. When he realizes that these kids have no chance of academic success, he gives up and tries to teach them to dance instead. Mix hip-hop, ballroom dancing and zombies, and you've got a full length feature version of "Thriller."
6. "Cool Runnings" (1993): The first zombie bobsled team attempts to make it to the Olympics, but its members fail repeatedly when their arms come off while trying to push the sled at the start. Far-fetched though it may be, did anyone actually believe the story when it was about Jamaicans?
5. "Philadelphia" (1993): Andrew Beckett is fired from his position at a prestigious corporate law firm for his being a zombie. Now, he must team up with a former zombophobe to take on the system and defend his rights.
4. "Titanic" (1997): Surely the only way to create a sequel for this epic drama would be to make the poor passengers zombies. Just imagine zombie-Jack rising from the water and screaming, "You said you'd never let go ... WTF, man?"
3. "Miracle" (2004): So they beat the Soviets ... what's next for the underdog Team USA? A team of zombies might prove to be worthy adversaries. They might not be very good skaters, but they don't exactly play by the rules.
2. "West Side Story" (1961): What's better than a forbidden love affair between a greasy New York gangster and a Puerto Rican immigrant? I think you see where this is going. Sure the Jets have some decent moves, but can they compete with "Thriller?" We can only speculate.
1. "Passion of the Christ" (2004): And on the third day, Christ did rise to partake of the brains of mankind, that repentance of sins should be preached in his name among all nations. It's like Easter, only with undead Jesus. We're all going to hell, we know.
-by the Daily Arts Department
