Last week, entertainment blogger Perez Hilton claimed that he and crooner John Mayer shared a five-minute makeout session at a New Year's Eve party.
While Mayer maintains that this never occurred, Hilton is vehemently reassuring us that it did, and that got us to thinking ... which celebs can we arbitrarily claim we've shared a sexually confused kiss with in order to move up a few ranks in the pop culture food chain?
10. Bennett Hillenbrand: As some of you may know, Major: Undecided has declared war on the Daily, led in their charge by Hillenbrand. However, some romances are so deep, they reach across boundaries. We like to think of this as a sort of Romeo and Juliet pairing, leading to passionate love and tragic death. 9. Mo from Global Guts: Honestly, what young man didn't have a crush on this hot, ambiguously international, short-haired babe? Between her accent, referee uniform and skilled narration of a classic game show, what's not to like? She can climb my Agro-Crag any day. Let's send it over to Mo to check out the leaderboard...
8. Kelly Clarkson: She may be famous, but this one was kinda gross. And she kept going on and on about her ex, Clive something-or-other.
7. Amy Winehouse: We totally hooked up with her, but she doesn't remember a thing, meaning there's no way she can deny it. I think after we made out we smoked some crack and listened to Motown, but that could've been the peyote-induced hallucinations. Handcuffs? I mean, I don't think so, but it's a little hazy.
6. John Mayer: Now, we'd like to believe that we in the arts section are wittier and obviously more attractive than Perez Hilton, so how come he's getting all the lip-locking action? A makeout with Mayer is in order, since we're completely seduced by his soothing melodies and convinced that his body is a wonderland.
5. Eliot Spitzer: Tufts ain't cheap. A girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do.
4. Scarlett Johansson and Natalie Portman at the same time: That was one hell of a night. Let's just leave it at that. By the way, we know which one is the "other" Boleyn girl now - but we're not telling.
3. Miley Cyrus: Wait, she's how old? Are you kidding?! Oh crap, not good ... not good.
2. Charlton Heston: We don't want to reveal too much, considering the sensitivity related to his recent death, but, suffice to say, our encounter ended with, "Get off me, you damn dirty ape." 'Nuff said.
1. Barack Obama: Yeah, that's right, we dabbled with Barack. Our parents weren't too happy about it (they're from another era), but that man has a message that keeps on going, and despite the Clinton campaign's accusations, he filled us with something other than just hope. Take that, Obamagirl.
-compiled by the Daily arts department
