I can't stand Rachael Freaking Ray. Fortunately, there is a large group of people who back me up on this. Web sites have been devoted to people's deep-running hatred of her, like rrsux.com. While I am not an avid visitor of the site, there are numerous things about RFR that really get me going. Here are my Official Top Five Reasons Why I Can't Stand Rachael Ray:
5. The perkiness and that voice: This is one of her most talked-about traits, with due reason. Rachael Freaking Ray's incessant perkiness seems to be a force of its own -- a nonstop barrage of her crazy smile, flailing arms and really, really bad puns. And that voice! If you watch "30 Minute Meals" carefully, you can chart the decline of her voice into mind-numbing oblivion. In the first few seasons of the show, she had a tolerable voice. Then, out of nowhere, this high-pitched, shrill ... thing ... came into existence. Her voice managed to go up an octave and about 100 decibels in the span of a month. And, the other half of the time she barely even has a voice! Some episodes of her show she is so raspy you can't even understand what she's saying. This is probably due to...
4. The ridiculous number of things she does: Rachael Freaking Ray writes for her magazines. She has a daytime talk show. She has four Food Network shows. She does commercials. She does constant public appearances. She seems to come out with a new cookbook every five to six months. Granted, the woman probably has a small army of employees working for her, but still. Rachael Freaking Ray needs to decide what she is: cook, travel guide or writer. Her latest endeavor is Nutrish, a line of dog food (in regards to the name, see number three). Some people might look at this list of accomplishments and say, "Wow, that's impressive. What a talented woman." No. Wrong. She overextends herself, resulting in the creation of numerous products without any of them truly being great.
3. The abbreviations: What is the point of abbreviating something if you just have to say what it means after you use the abbreviation because no one understands you? Take that and put it in your GB (which is garbage bowl ... see what I mean?).
2. She is not a chef: RFR talks constantly about how she's not a chef. She's a cook; she hasn't had any formal culinary training. Then why was she on "Iron CHEF America?" Why is she on Forbes' list of top earning celebrity CHEFS? (Also a totally random note that pseudo-relates to this: She constantly talks about how she is notorious for burning toast, yet she has never, ever done this on one of her shows. I think it would be a great episode if she actually did scorch the heck out of some bread and she had to deal with it.) But, this brings me to the number one Official Reason of why I actually hate Rachael Freaking Ray...
1. I am totally jealous of her: I can admit it, even through my blind rage. She has built her career off of making soup, sandwiches and hamburgers. I make soups, sandwiches and hamburgers and I am not a multi-millionaire. She travels around the country and spends $40 a day on food. I can travel, and after spending two summers in a row working at unpaid internships, I certainly can tell people how to save money. I guess I just can't make a yum-o sammie like she can, so there will be no Oprah-endorsed celebrity status for me.
