A column of their own

Part of the reason that I am so excited about writing an advice column with the Pooj is the fact that no one ever really asks me for advice. Until three days ago, I had never been asked for directions on campus. It was not for lack of trying -- I even started to smile at people as I walk past them (that is a big step for a New Yorker, we’re taught to look through people, not at them). I have done everything to appear more approachable and finally, three days ago, I saw a pre-frosh and her dad wandering around campus holding a map. This was my moment -- I showed them how to go to the campus center to get coffee. They laughed at my pronunciation of “kwo-ffee,” but I am going to count this as a win. So with this win under my belt, the Pooj and I feel prepared to answer all of your questions, so let’s dive right in.

Dear New York Style Delhi,

When looking for colleges, I didn’t realize that my preference for a mid-size school would mean seeing people that I never want to see and never seeing the ones that I do want to see. How do I beat this system?

Pooja: First of all, I think it's about time we accept that this universe is a joke. Your attempts to beat its games will fail and Murphy’s law will consistently prevail. As she said last week, Rebecca’s advice would be that the best defense is a good offense. If that means straightening your hair for yogalates and wearing make-up to the gym, then so be it. You are not alone, there are several thousands of people on whatshouldwecallme that definitely agree with this tactic. However, personally I am much too lazy and prefer to nest in the realm of sweatpants and baggy shirts. My advice is to be strategic -- find hidden places on campus to study, avoid peak hours at the gym and dining halls like the plague and practice your long distance sightings. The good thing about looking unpruned is that you won't compromise on wearing your glasses, allowing you to see the person before meeting them, giving you enough time to RUN. As far as never seeing the people you want to see, I’m afraid that’s up to the universe again. Shy from turning into a certified stalker, there’s not much you can do other than leave it to fate.

Dear New York Style Delhi,

I have a fling with a boy from home, and I know that he really likes me and wants more. I know that I do not want a long distance relationship but I love the attention I get from him and I like hanging out with him when I am home. Is it wrong if I let this go on?

Rebecca: This sounds like a sticky situation. The longer you talk to someone, the harder it is to not have feelings for him. While you may not have caught feelings yet, it is clear that he has. If you know that he is not your "one," then maybe you should cut him loose so he can find someone who will view him as more than that sweatshirt you love but only wear when you binge eat Ben and Jerry’s Cherry Garcia on the couch.

Pooja: Rebecca once told me, if he’s not the "one," if he’s not even in your top fifty "ones," then the relationship has probably reached its expiration date. I know the thought of being alone is hard, but have some compassion and let the guy go.

That’s all this week for our Jumbo-sized servings of non-kosher advice! Please submit your questions, queries and complaints so we can put our expertise and knowledge to good use!  And don’t worry it is all 100% anonymous!

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