As a freshman at Tufts, no matter how much I read, see, or participate in activities, I will never know as much about the minority organizations on campus as those who are a part of those minority groups. Thus, what I have to say may not be absolutely correct, and even biased since it is based only on what I have seen and heard with my own eyes and ears. However, as part of the population of "independent thinkers" on which this university prides itself, I feel I must express my opinions on a specific issue. The issue is how I feel about the way some members of the gay community at Tufts try to overly impose their mentality on the Tufts community, and also how, as a member of the Tufts community, I have become more objectionable to the gay society at Tufts due to its methods of communication.
I came to Tufts from a United World College, a pre-university boarding school that prides itself on the fact that its student population is small but extremely diverse. My school had a student body of only 200 people, yet it housed over 70 different nationalities on campus. Thus, I feel that I have been exposed to a wide range of cultures (including gay culture), beliefs, and ways of life. In saying this, I wish to convey to the reader that this concern of mine does not arise from being ignorant of different styles of living. Moreover, I do not feel this way because I have something personal against gays in general, but rather because I feel that an objectionable feeling has begun to develop due to the methods of communication used by individuals of the gay population to advertise their beliefs.
The meeting called by the TTLGBC concerning "hate crimes" directed at gays in particular sparked my unease. Although the meeting was conducted with the purpose of informing the student population of the unfortunate incidents that had happened, and how we as responsible students can and should prevent these incidents from reoccurring in the future, the meeting was not entirely conducted with an informative attitude. In some cases, rather than to inform, a representative from the TTLGBC seemed to accuse the audience of committing the crimes in a fashion that implied that we were all potential "gay bashers." For example, a comment or question would be raised concerning the consequences of making a verbal slur towards a gay person, and the reply to this question would invariably be something akin to "you should not... " and "no one else here should ... " instead of a response that used more objective language.
There were other points mentioned during the meeting that I felt were distasteful. For example, concerns over the appropriateness of jokes were raised. According to the speaker, jokes were only acceptable when a member of a group makes fun of their own group members. Any other case is immediately assumed to be "wrong" and "unacceptable." My objection to this, then, is how do we learn to achieve cross-cultural understanding if we can't even tolerate one of the more basic and effective means of communication: humor?
Coming from a minority group myself, I understand that there are cases when racial jokes cross the line, a standard I assume to be true in the cases of sexual jokes as well. However, I do not consider all forms of jokes in the context of race and sex to be insults that are damaging, or always uttered with the intent to hurt an individual. Jokes, even those that are in the context of race and sex, can be used in good faith to create a pleasant environment through humor. If we, as a culturally mixed population, are supposed to learn and expose ourselves to become more culturally educated, we should not have to exclude jokes and humor from the process completely. As a culturally diverse and educated population, are we not supposed to possess some degrees of tolerance? And if we are supposed to be culturally accepting, why then are we so selective about what we are to accept? The idea that racial or sexual jokes can be made only within the group but not outside the group is, I believe, a misconception because it defeats the purpose of our mission statement as Tufts students to become global citizens. As prospects for global citizens, we should be able to incorporate cross-cultural humor into our daily lives and not to dismiss every racial or sexual joke made in good faith as racism and sexism.
Another point would be my objection to the terms "straight allies" and "unsafe individuals." The first term appeared during the TTLGBC meeting, while the latter showed up on one of the sidewalks on campus along with names of the individuals who were dubbed as "unsafe." The term "straight ally" has a degrading connotation, for an ally is usually used to describe parties who seek mutual gain from one another. However, the important issue is not the actual meaning of the word, but rather the implications of it. Imposing a title such as this on people segregates them from the crowd; as if they possess an attribute that others do not. Likewise, the gay community should not dub people "unsafe" for the same reason. By creating titles such as these, the gay society is attempting to divide the population into two camps, basically their "allies" and their "enemies." In reality, everybody should have equal chance and opportunity to show their concern and voice their discontent, without necessarily taking a position for or against the gay society.
Although I can never fully understand what it is like to be gay, I feel that I am able to identify with the gay society in terms of being a member of a minority group on campus. Being an Asian on campus subjects me to situations common to every minority group at Tufts; we have the same fears that come with being a minority: fears of being isolated and vulnerable. We too have societies and culture groups with whom we can associate ourselves to find shelter and support. We too have the tendency to feel that we are constantly misunderstood and discriminated by others outside our group. We are targets for "hate crimes" too! Even though I recognize the possibility that gay culture maybe the target of a larger amount of ridicule compared with the culture of other minority groups, this still does not excuse the methods that members of the gay society have used to voice their concerns. I do not appreciate their hosting informative meetings where the audience is treated as if they were the culprits for the "hate crimes." I do not appreciate the way they try to advertise themselves by stirring up controversy so that they are the focus of the media, for example, the case involving the TCF where a girl was supposedly turned down for a position because she was gay. Whether or not this was a legitimate cause, the immediate reaction from the gay society was to voice outrage. To them, this was obviously a case of gay bashing because it involved one of them being turned down. Even smaller issues such as the mere possibility that I was stereotyping when I made the comment that gay people I encountered were all quite well spoken and intelligent, provoked hostility. Gays seem to be overly sensitive about their image within society.
The gay community should keep its methods of communication within some limits. Just because they feel the need to be heard does not mean they can express their concerns and messages by any means possible. Moreover, even though I, as a member of a minority group myself, can empathize with their cause to some extent, I feel that the process of retaliation used by some individuals of the gay community will not aid their cause in making people understand their needs more, but instead will push those people, like myself, who stand neutral in their cause, further away. At the same time, I believe it doesn't have to be this way. If they change their methods to become a little more tolerant and patient, and to use methods of persuasion and education rather than the aforementioned examples of coercion. Maybe this way people will be willing to be more receptive to their causes and in return, the gay community will be less misunderstood.
David Chen is a freshman who has not yet declared a major.
