"We study in the same classrooms, we read the same texts, we take the same exams, we're graded by the same criteria. Now, if we were truly from different planets, that could not be even remotely possible," Dr. Michael Kimmel stated, beginning his talk on gender relations on college campuses this past Tuesday night.
Approximately 40 students came to Cabot Auditorium to listen to what Kimmel had to say about gender relations and identities, based on his observations on college campuses. Following the discussion, the LGBT Center held a reception as part of Tuesday's Coming Out Day festivities.
Kimmel, a prominent sociologist and author of Manhood in America: A Cultural History, spoke about several issues that affect gender relations and how some of those issues have been renegotiated over the last 30 years. The discussion was entitled "Mars and Venus in the Classroom: Women and Men in the New Millenium," a title Kimmel chose so that he could have his say on John Gray's bestseller Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus.
Focusing his talk around four aspects of life, Kimmel gave examples of how women's lives have changed over the past 30 years, referring to gender visibility, women in the workplace, balancing work and family, and sexuality. Kimmel pointed to statistics and surveys collected over the past 30 years, which indicated women's changing views of men.
To make the connection between the four areas of change and the survey results, Kimmel indicated that this change occurred because of the importance placed on being a woman - addressing issues such as keeping a job outside the home while maintaining a family without having to choose between the two, getting what they want out of a relationship, and being entitled to pleasure.
Making sure not to leave anyone out, Kimmel also addressed the changes that men's lives have undergone during the same time period.
"The first answer that people would have is not very much," Kimmel said. "I don't think that's quite true. I think men's lives have changed a lot, but I don't think our ideas of what it means to be a man have changed very much."
Males are told to follow the rules of manhood - no sissy stuff, be a big wheel, be a sturdy oak, and give 'em hell - from an early age, according to Kimmel. "If men do the first rule right, then everything is okay," he said, addressing what professionals and psychologists have advocated for masculine behavior. Kimmel used the example of legendary actor John Wayne and his portrayal in film to illustrate this point.
The second part of Kimmel's talk juxtaposed the rules of manhood and the issues concerning women's lives, while also incorporating other aspects of people's lives. He focused on some of the conflicting issues that men face in constructing their identities, the effects of visibility, privilege, and the compromises that men make to accommodate women.
"We've got to make race and class and gender visible," Kimmel said. "Men and women are on the same sides on these issues, but if women have changed, then men have to do something too."
Kimmel ended his discussion by saying that the women's movement has reshaped how men view masculinity, in order to head in the direction that they have always wanted to go.
"Men say they want better relationships with our children, our friends, and with our partners, but the only way we are going to get there is by supporting women's efforts, not by opposing them. As a 1917 writer once wrote: Feminism is going to make it possible for the first time for men to be free," Kimmel said.
