When was the last time you spoke to your friend who lives on the other side of campus? What about those friends you made freshman year? Staying in touch with friends on the Hill is difficult enough - so how do students involved in long-distance relationships manage to make it work? It can be trying enough having a significant other on campus, let alone someone who is thousands of miles away.
Senior Vincent Chu, whose girlfriend lives in Dallas, says that communication is the major reason for their relationship's success.
"Being away from her months at a time is difficult, but we still grow emotionally from our long conversations on the phone," Chu said.
Chu and his girlfriend may have worked at their relationship through the years, but others break up before even arriving on campus. Long-term high school relationships frequently fizzle because one or both partners fear what they'll miss as college freshmen. Commitment is frightening in itself - let alone when combined with the novelty of living away from home for the first time.
Chu said that this was a fear of his before coming to Tufts, but that he and his girlfriend worked through their mutual concerns and reached a decision to stay together.
"Before we went into a long distance relationship, we talked about it before I left. I didn't want to regret not trying. I stuck with it, and I found that it was worth it. Staying with her is one of the best decisions I have made," Chu said.
Sophomore Katrina Elio, a native New Yorker, has sustained a two-year relationship with her boyfriend, who is from New Jersey, and warned that long-distance relationships take a lot of work.
"It seems that we need to put more effort in for long distance relationships because they're more difficult. There are a lot of pros and cons with the relationship," Elio said. "It's almost like you lead two separate lives because you're in two different places with different environments. But that's also what gives you something to look forward to when you finally see the person again. It makes you appreciate the person so much more, but finding the common ground and keeping the communication open is what long distance relationships thrive on."
Emotional effort isn't the only sacrifice, either - long-distance relationships can prove more economically draining than others, with expensive plane fares for visits and high phone bills. But, Elio said, the little time she gets to spend with her boyfriend is worth the wait and the financial strain.
"Despite the sky-rocketing phone bills and accumulating debts from plane tickets, every visit made us stronger and reminded us of why we were together in the first place and it makes any argument that we've ever had minuscule," Elio said.
The time in between infrequent visits is bound to be difficult, particularly during times of stress. Students with boyfriends or girlfriends living miles away notice the absence more acutely when having a bad day - or, conversely, when enjoying successes.
"When you're stressed, scared, or sad, talking is not enough, the physical comfort is lacking and those are the times that I miss her the most," Chu said.
"But when I saw her again, it felt like being away. I felt like I took a step back from the relationship because it felt strange to hug her at first but as the weekend went on familiarity came back quickly. I am glad that we are so connected that it was possible after the long separation that the feelings were still there," he said.
