Dear Dr. K,
I'm a pretty shy person, but I somehow got up the nerve to ask this hot girl from my Spanish class over to do "homework." The only problem is that my roommate is a real ladies man (or so he thinks) and hits on every single human resembling a female that he meets. I'm going to be really pissed off if he tries to hit on this girl, because he gets with tons of girls all the time. How can I tell him to back off?
-Roommate RageA: For starters, you could try being honest with your winner of a roommate. Tell him that you have some serious plans with a girl and you will need the room to yourself. One of the basic rules of dorm living involves coming up with some kind of code to leave on the message board indicating that there is some hardcore action going on behind closed doors. So, leave up a message - some people use smiley faces, other use key words, others tape a condom to the board for a less subtle approach. He should at least respect the fact that you are asking for the room for one night (or a few hours) since it sounds like you do the same for him on a regular basis.
However, if you think he will actually go out of his way to be rude and intrusive, then you might have a sticky situation to deal with. You might want to forewarn your potential bed buddy that your roommate is a real player, and tries to hit on every girl he has ever been introduced to. I'm sure that if this girl knows what a dog he is, she'll be immediately turned off from even getting to know the guy. Make sure you emphasize just how many girls he brings home, and how frequently, and she'll get the picture.
Although having an annoying roommate is frustrating and unfair, you just have to suck it up. There are very few roommate situations that actually work out, so just be happy that the semester is almost over and you'll never have to worry about your roomie manhandling every girl you bring home. Invite your cutie over, and if he starts rubbing himself against her right away, then feel free to tell him to "[insert your explicative of choice here] off" and suggest to your lady friend that you take her out for a coffee (your treat) instead. Once you get around to the coffee, she'll see you as considerate and sensitive, and you can take that opportunity to explain why your roommate is such a womanizing bastard. You see, this will work in your favor no matter what happens, so enjoy!
Q: Dear Dr. K,
Although I am really psyched for Spring Break, I am also scared as hell to bare my body in a bathing suit in front of lots of other college-age kids on break. The thought of a bikini, let alone a bathing suit, makes me wish I had gone to the gym this semester. Should I start working out for the next week? Will I look better just by going for a few days, or maybe using Slim Fast or something?
-bathing beast
A: Too bad you didn't realize the benefits of exercise long before making plans to bare it all in the sun! First of all, stop thinking that you can magically look slimmer in a bathing suit after a week of working out. This will not work. It takes a lot of time (read: months of effort) to achieve a fit, athletic body, and one week certainly isn't going to fool anybody. Don't make the same mistake that tons of Tufts students make before each major break - working out for the week before going away is not going to allow you to make up for all the time you've spent lounging around being lazy. It's also extremely aggravating for dedicated athletes to deal with the hoards of students who crowd the gym for that week, thinking that they can start up an intensive exercise schedule that involves staying on cardio machines for way longer than they should. In sum, no, going to the gym next week will not make you suddenly have the sexy body of Jennifer Lopez. Don't be misled.
However, I would definitely encourage you to start an exercise routine for the future. I could go on forever about the benefits of working out, but I'll spare you. Instead, take my suggestion that you start up some sort of schedule for yourself so that next time you are going on vacation, you will not only look great, but you will feel so much more confident about your body and self.
One more thing - the Slim Fast idea is a terrible one. Those kinds of weight-loss supplements not only deprive your poor body of essential nutrients; they are also boring and will leave you unfulfilled. The other negative is that the second you stop drinking those nasty shakes, you will be guaranteed to gain back every single ounce you might have lost. It seems like the problem lies within the fact that you are unhappy with your body. Don't get sucked into a downward spiral of self-loathing. Instead, be appreciative that you are a healthy young woman and you will be enjoying a week off, away from the lovely Medford/Somerville area with friends or family. If you are truly unhappy with the way you look, then do something. Like I said, exercise is a great way to feel better about yourself. If this is a real problem for you, talk to people, because if you keep getting down on yourself then you might wind up suffering the consequences of poor self-esteem. Stop trashing yourself and start anew - it's never too late.
