Yes, I am graduating in under two months. No, I don't know where I will be or what I will do. I want to vomit.
Only sometimes, of course, do I truly want to vomit. Usually, the impulse toward nausea is over-whelmed by excitement or wonder. For what seems like the first time in my life, the future lies before me, empty, like a blank Etch-A-Sketch, ready for me to sit down and start twisting those knobs, eagerly and anxiously, however my nervous, tingling digits wish. For the most part, I'm thoroughly enjoying this unknowing-ness and, if ever I do feel like blowing chucks, I remind myself how lucky I am to have such an empty canvas before me with which to begin the rest of life. I repeat the mantra "Etch A Sketch, Etch A Sketch" and my desire to hurl subsides.
So there you go. I really don't know what I'm going to do after graduation. Really, I don't. So you can stop asking me. Please. Stop. Thank you.
I promise you, it's not as if I actually do know, and I'm just keeping it from you. It is not as if I have an absolutely amazing secret future life plan that is just too damned amazing for others' minds to handle. It is not as if I actually did land that job as the traveling zamboni driver with the Bruins, and I'm not telling you because I know you'd be jealous and it would ruin our friendship. It's not that way all, I promise.
But, a ha! What if it was? I find myself imagining sometimes - usually at the expense of time I should have spent honing my resume or polishing cover letters - what would happen if I did get that one perfect job? Of course, we know there is no such thing as the one perfect job. In fact, there are many. Our planet features gobs of perfect jobs. Now I just have to land that first interview...
Brewer
It's not just that I like beer, and that a brewer's primary task in life is to create earth's most lovely elixir from simple yeast and hops. It's also the way the job sounds. Say it. The word: brewer. You know they could have gone with 'beer maker' or even 'beer master.' But no, they went with that single word. Its definition? One who brews. The implication: a human who possesses patience and delicacy, precision and ambition, a generous citizen who uses his chemistry expertise to take advantage of the laws of nature and make a yummy, filling, and alcoholic beverage.CD Organizer
One of those things for which you always wish you had time. How often have you told yourself, 'One of these days I am going to re-alphabetize my CD collection!' And yet you never do, because it's boring and time-consuming. Now, imagine it was your job, imagine someone paid you to organize CDs. The actual organization process is probably no fun. But consider how much more pleasant your and everyone else's lives will be when the task of flipping through hundreds of disks every time you want to hear your Sinatra at the Sands no longer exists.Charlton Heston
This being Passover and all, I first thought to suggest that most holy of perfect jobs: Moses. How could you beat it? Performing miracles, chattin' it up with the big guy, leading slaves to freedom... But I suppose that would be pretty presumptuous to consider being Moses a job. So instead, why don't we consider being the guy who played the guy. And this way, we can also enjoy the inspiring melodrama-soaked worlds of Planet of the Apes and Ben Hur. Those chariot races look wicked fun.Feng Shui Consultant
I'm not exactly sure what Feng Shui is. It has something to do with balance and harmony and where you should place your rug in the living room. And I'm all about harmony and proper rug placement, so sign me up.Walker
I like to walk. It's therapeutic and gives you time to think. You stay in shape. I can only imagine how happy I would be, if someone wearing a suit called me one day and said that they want me to join their organization as a professional walker. He would go on, explaining that besides a sizable salary and fine benefits, I would also get business cards. I could walk anywhere I wanted. And wherever I went, I would meet new, interesting people and give them my card which reads in simple bold letters: ROB LOTT, walker. Courier fontSo I march forward in this, the month before the month in which I graduate, knowing that I know not what the future holds. I am unsure, and it is thrilling.
