With the 2002 Winter Olympics over and done, I'm having some trouble figuring out what to make of them. Were they really the euphoric, peaceful competition we all like to think of them as? Are the games fair, or does too much cheating go on? Does Bob Costas really know that much, or is he actually an android surviving on a constant diet of nine-volt batteries?
Since the Winter Olympics won't be around again until I'm 24, and I probably won't have a column anymore (because, come on, what the hell am I doing with one now?), I've decided to take this time to try and answer some of these questions - or at least pretend to. So without further ado, here is the good, the bad, and the ugly of the 2002 Olympic Games.
First off, the bad: curling. Curling is possibly the greatest game I have ever watched in my entire life. But that's just the problem with it. It's a game, not a sport. Curling has absolutely no business being part of the Olympics.
Sure it's hard. Sure the curlers have to train their whole lives to be as good as they are. But if that is the only criteria for something to be in the Olympics, maybe we should include knitting, or even crochet. 85 year-old women will race to see who can finish her cardigan first, and the winner will get a date with Jim McKay. Give me a break. Could anyone, in good conscience, honestly compare an Olympic curler to a speed skater or Nordic skier?
To quote one young curling fan, "It's like chess with the rhythm of bowling." Is this really how we want to display athletic prowess, with a cross between chess and bowling?
The next on the list of the bad is skeleton. Luge on the stomach. Where is the skill in this event? When I was a kid, we called this "sledding." There are no brakes and no steering. The rider simply goes with the flow down the track, and whoever ran fastest and jumped on his sled the quickest wins. I just don't get it.
Maybe because a sport is risky, it has credibility to be in the Olympics. I guess that next it will be speed skiing and Russian roulette that we call Olympic events. Do Americans really need medals so badly that we have to reinstate such an inane sport as skeleton?
Now for the ugly: the French and the Russian figure skating judges. Just as the Olympics were beginning to come out of the shadow of the IOC bribery that brought the games to Salt Lake City in the first place, these judges had to go and ruin the credibility of more Olympic officials. Who do these people think they are to take away something that these skaters have worked they're whole lives for?
I can only imagine how the Canadian pair must have felt when they learned that, even though it sacrificed so much to give a gold medal performance, it was getting the silver because the French judge wanted her ice dancers to do well. When did the Olympics become more about winning than about fair play? Call me an idealist, but I think that whoever performs the best should win the gold medal. Period.
And now it's time for the good. First off: Johnny Mosely. I will never get tired of watching him rock the bumps and nail that dinner roll. A jump which he had to petition judges to allow was probably the reason he didn't get a medal, but it is also the reason why he is the greatest mogul skier of all time.
Mosely could have easily been more conservative on his jumps and medaled, but he preferred to challenge himself and better his sport. Four years from now, nobody will remember who got first, second, and third, but they will remember Mosely sticking that dinner roll. And I know I will never forget seeing him take off his skis and jump into the crowd in celebration. Mosely to me represents why every athlete should compete - for the love of the game.
Next good: Bode Miller. Maybe this is a little bit of hometown pride coming through, but I truly think that Bode Miller was one of the greatest names of these Olympics. Miller took two silver medals during these games, both in events that had never seen an American medalist. He put together one of the greatest runs of all time in the combined to come from way back and nab the silver, and was equally impressive in the Super G. And of course let's not forget where Bode went to high school - Carrabassett Valley Academy, Carrabassett Valley, Maine.
Also on the list of good are Bob Costas and Jim McKay. I get such a kick out of these guys. Costas is the smartest man alive, and McKay is old enough to remember what the best thing was before sliced bread. A hypothetical conversation between the two:
Costas: Jim, do you know when the last time an American won a bobsled medal was? I do. I know everything.
McKay: Well Bob, now that I'm 147 years old, I don't really know much of anything. I like pizza.
Another on the good list has to be Apolo Anton Ohno. Watching Ohno crawl across the finish line for the silver medal after crashing in the last lap was, without a doubt, the highlight of my Olympics. Even with a gash on his leg that would later require six stitches, Ohno was so determined to succeed he scrambled over the finish line on his hands and knees, even though his dream of four gold medals had been shattered. Now that's heart.
I can think of countless other good moments, but alas, I don't have enough space in which to share them. The Belarussian upset of Sweden, the 21-year anniversary of the Miracle on Ice, the opening ceremonies, there are tons of other awe inspiring and jaw dropping moments. Though there were a few faults and disgraces, I'm sure I will have completely forgotten about them by the time the next Olympiad rolls around. What will really stick with me are all of the moments that made me say, "I wish I could do that." And I guess that really tells me what to think of the Olympics. I love these games.
