Cheap Sox returns

"If you spell my name wrong, I will kill you." Senior Cheap Sox member Rah-Nee Kelly tells me, with all the deadpan seriousness she has. "Well, could you spell your name now, so we can avoid that?" I reply.

"No."

So it goes with Cheap Sox, Tufts's irreverent (and, frankly, hilarious) Improv Comedy Troup, which will perform this Friday at 9 p.m. in Dewick. Its last performance was during Orientation, so unless you are a freshman or an involved upperclassman, it's been six months since a big campus show.

Watching the troup warm up, practice their games and sharpen their skills feels like revisiting an old friend _ an old friend who would drink all your parents' liquor, wear a lampshade on their forehead while belting out 'Louie Louie' and wake up naked in the birdbath. Wait, maybe that's just at the rehearsal I went to.

You see some of that over the top energy even as they warm up. Sophomore member Stefanie Schussel asks, "Does anyone have any gum?" An honest enough question, but not with the sox. "Jesus, enough with the gum. You gum whore." replies Kevin Miller, another sophomore (but a recent addition.) "I can't help it." cries Stefanie, who gets cut off before she can defend her Gum honor. One gets the feeling that everyone is 'on,' regardless if they're on stage or not.

So what's new with the troupe since they it left us? Well, a lot, actually. Three seniors graduated and one freshman left Tufts to pursue an acting career in California. That left them with six members, which can produce a strain. "Losing the seniors was tough because they anchored scenes and collectively had a ton of experience." says junior Graham Griffin. "And it was sad to see David go because he is a great talent, and he was on his way to being a great sox."

But then came auditions, which produced three new members, or "Newbians" as junior Allan Rice named them: freshmen Alex Sherman and Katie Semine (little sister of senior member Charlie) and Miller.

"The freshman are learning really quickly and they're all really funny," Griffin said. "We're really solid again and starting to establish a new identity as a group."

Their first warm up has them gathering in a circle, preparing to scream like madmen (and women.) Before they shout, newbie Semine asks, "Are we going to offend the people next door?" Everyone looks at one another, a little baffled, and she says, "Oh, right. Nevermind." They then start the warm up, which involves screaming a phrase that can't really be printed in a newspaper but does involve the devouring of the innocent. After they're done, Miller runs over to the wall and screams, "was that loud enough for you?!"

"They're going to work out just fine," says Cheap Sox President Mellisa Holman.

Their next warm-up is called 'Leather Nun.' Allan Rice and Rah-Nee Kelly take the stage. "What are you doing?" asks Kelly. "Shooting a musket at the cat." reply Rice, and Kelly immediately imitates that action. "What are you doing?" asks Rice. "Converting the Pope." replies Kelly. And so Rice does, and begins slapping the Pope around. And so it goes.

They next practice a game called 1:51, which has three sox performing a 60-second scene based on a one word suggestion. Then they convert that scene into 30 seconds, then 15, then five and finally one. Usually, they other members scream, "can it be done?!" when they get down to one second.

This time around, the suggestion is 'Postering'. Again, innocent enough. But as the Sox could make his holiness dirty, it was only a matter of time before one of the sox attempted to stop any and all placement of posters with his 'dildo cannon.' (Don't ask.) Then, despite the fact that almost everyone was on the ground in spasms of laughter and disbelief, he is forced to replay the scene (cannon and all) in thirty, fifteen, five and finally one second. His one second scene? He screamed, "PHALLUS!"

Afterwards, he said to me, "Is there any way you could leave the Dildo Cannon out of the article?"

I look at him and in all seriousness replied, "No."



The Cheap Sox perform tonight at 9 p.m. in Dewick with opening guest is Elephant Larry, an improv group from New York City. Tickets are $3 dollars and can be bought at the door.