Tuesday night keeps it real

Two shows, two networks, two entirely different premises, yet two masterpieces. The reality television craze that should have died the way the primetime game show did is still alive and well with these new reincarnations. ESPN's Beg, Borrow, & Deal and MTV's The Real World have transformed Tuesday nights into the best reality night of the week.

As ESPN's first venture into creating original programming that did not involve old bald men debating sports, Beg, Borrow, & Deal appears to be a rookie phenom in the reality genre. The premise has two teams, each with four members, must get themselves from Times Square, New York City to Alcatraz Island in San Francisco Bay, without anything on them but their driver's licenses and the clothes on their back. They cannot handle any money, and can only take advantage of one favor per person. Accordingly, they must "beg, borrow, and deal" their way across the country. In addition, they must perform ten sports-related tasks, such as shag fly balls in a Major League Baseball park or beat an NBA player at a game of H-O-R-S-E.

The producers at ESPN Original Entertainment (EOE) have created an impressively unique program that appeals to audiences of all demographics. The average reality television viewer should love it, because it contains all the great Machiavellian politics and incessant complaining of every successful program. The average sports fan should love it, as they get to see normal folks perform stunts that they could only dream of. Imagine being a Baltimore Orioles fan, and then watching other fans catch fly balls at Camden Yards, the cathedral of all ballparks. At times it is frustrating, however, to see these amazing tasks being carried out by shmoes who know absolutely nothing about sports.

Take contestant Josh, member of Team Cobi, and alumnus of Tufts. A self-proclaimed nitwit when it comes to sports, he has found his way onto the field of Giants Stadium in the Meadowlands, Arrowhead Stadium in Kansas City, Miller Field in Milwaukee, Comiskey Park in Chicago, and the aforementioned Camden Yards. He rode in a car with Giants star Jason Sehorn, and shot a hockey goal on an NHL goalie. These are among a sports fan's dreams, yet Josh, not a sports fan, gets to live the dreams for the sole reason of winning a contest.

The burden for the success of a reality television series lies solely on the dynamics of the cast; the members have to be memorable. More than four years later, people still know who Richard Hatch is and that he won the first Survivor. While Beg, Borrow, & Deal has no one who can compare to Richard, cast members Josh and Juliet of Team Cobi, and Tony and Aubrey of Team Contact stand out as the most unforgettable.

In contrast to the smooth-talking, sarcastic, and sports-challenged Josh, is the prissy, cranky, and unpredictable Juliet. In last week's episode, she tore into an elderly man at Miller Field, almost costing her team a task. Labeled as a liability by her three teammates, Juliet is the monkey's wrench in Team Cobi's well-oiled machine that has paved ahead to a substantial lead.

Tony is the typical Yankee fan. Crass, self-centered and a slob, Tony spends the road trip thinking with his stomach. He usually acts without any regard for his team, much to the dismay of cry-baby Amber. The waterworks pour out of her eyes so often she could replace Hoover Dam. The interaction between these two characters is often one of the highlights of the episode.

As with Beg, Borrow, & Deal, the cast members of The Real World: Las Vegas make the show. In The Real World, however, there is one non-human cast member, Sin City herself. I'm surprised it took MTV a full dozen incarnations of the long-running series to realize that Las Vegas is the perfect setting for a group of seven, self-centered, mentally-imbalanced, twentysomething nymphomaniacs.

Set in the top-floor penthouse of the Palms Casino and Resort, The Real World chronicles, "the true story of seven strangers, picked to live in a house to find out what happens when people stop being polite and start getting real." Of course, the house is full of pricey, chic amenities and their jobs are a laughingstock and an insult in comparison to every hard-working Jane and Joe across America.

For this year's occupation, the residents are in charge of planning parties with their sketchy boss, Marc. His work ethic has to be lifted from your basic "Sexual Harassment in the Workplace: What Not to Do" video shown at companies everywhere. After trying to sleep with a couple of members of the cast, he seems to have mellowed in sketchiness _ but his stench still lingers.

The cast is exceptional this year, raising the unintentional comedy scale to a new level. First there is Brynn, the super jealous sexpot who couldn't smell more of desperation. The object of her green-eyed monster envy? The hot and heavy Steve ("I'm married, but no one seems to care") and Trishelle ("I've disgraced my family from being in a threesome"), who seem to have no objection to doing the nasty in front of housemate and farmboy Frank.

I happen to think Frank is by far the funniest and most decent member of the cast. His honest and straightforward approach to everything gives him a "deer in the headlights" caricature on the show. He's the lost boy in the crazy messed up world of the Real World.

Rounding out the cast are Alton, whose blatant homophobia was put on display for comedic purposes last week; Irulan, who is turning out to be the strongest leader of the pack and the object of Marc's affection; and Arissa, who unfortunately hasn't had much to do other than look extremely frightening with her big bug eyes.

With the proliferation of sequels to great original reality series (Big Brother 3, Mole 2, Amazing Race 3 and Survivor 4 come to mind} failing in the ratings wars, television networks are turning to creating inventive new series and spicing up old ones. Beg, Borrow, and Deal and The Real World: Las Vegas are two great new examples of where reality television is going, and things are looking up.

Beg, Borrow, & Deal airs at 8 PM on ESPN on Tuesdays

Real World: Las Vegas airs at 10 PM on MTV on Tuesdays