TuftsLife.com announces Fowler to take over 'Daily'

After a semester of Sex and the City showings, slumber parties, and large purchases of Luna bars, testosterone will return to the Daily executive board next semester. Daniel "Camping with my girlfriend is a dangerous sport" Fowler was elected editor-in-chief last Friday, despite concerns that tripping over his pants will impair his leadership abilities.

As EIC, Fowler plans to strengthen the relationship between the Daily and the Ball Square liquor store and work closely with News Analysis on "late night" camping investigations.

Fowler's election brings the reign of Rachel "Just a sec, I'm on the phone" Rubenson to an end. Following her departure, cell phones will be banned from Daily meetings. It remains to be seen how Rubenson will adjust to post-Daily life. We expect that she will probably continue using "Daily style" in her papers, assuming she chooses to start taking classes again. Area flour distributors are ready to cry as the "Bake for Morale" campaign comes to a close and wheat is transferred from the Daily bakery to the Daily brewery.

Fowler will be assisted in his arguments with TuftsLife.com by Managing Editor Adam "Yes, Bermuda has a daily" Cooper, who promises to talk at meetings next semester once Rubenson has left. Completing the exec board will be Associate Editors Ethan "Madder than I look" Austin, who will be forced to exist outside of the Sports corner, and Amanda "I'm soooooooooooo excited to rejoin the Daily" Mu?±oz. With Austin living in Fowler's house next semester, perhaps he can help the new EIC find pants that fit when he gets dressed. Meanwhile, Associate Editor Emily "I'll make a sign for that" Chasan heads to Spain to relax by reading The New York Times Madrid edition for a semester.

The News department sports a new, improved structure for next semester and now has more editors than there are computers in the office. From her position as news editor, Veronica "Texan Princess" Aguilar will continue her effort to put British men on the backgrounds of every computer next semester. She will be joined by Sarah "Random outbursts" Dalglish and Jordana "43 percent sexy" Timerman.

The Special Projects editors decided they needed to submit to news (in more ways than one) because no-one wanted to write for their strangely-named section. Heading up the new "News Analysis" section of News will be Jonathan "I cheated to get a higher sexy rating" Graham and Bridget "Fowler made me do this" Behling. Despite Graham's begging, the section will not be pronounced Anal-ey-sis, though we might let him write "colour" in his next UCCPS article. Jamie "Why won't they let me leave?" Cox takes on a new role as development editor.

Rounding off the news team will be assistants Keith "Res Life loves me" Barry, Brian "Liverpool sucks" Loeb, Mark "Sustaining the News redhead quota" Phillips, Jonathan "Elliott thinks I'm the man" Schubin, and Warren "Canadian too, but cooler than Graham" Davis, who will all soon learn that two articles a week is not a lot. After one semester working with Graham, Erika "Fowler, order for me!" Langer needs some time off. Jon "Call somebody else" Lee will be leaving next semester because his one night a week (if that) in the Curtis Hall basement burned him out.

In Features, Jane "Wonder woman" Shtilman had so much fun editing the sex column that she decided to stay on for another semester. She will be joined by assistants Julia "Ghost editor" Lifschultz and Patrice "A little too excited" Taddonio.

Arts has a promising semester ahead of it, as Marc "I'm not here" Frost leads a corps of 4,567,654,124 assistants, including Salima "Interview Queen" Appiah-Kubi, Alex "Sig Ep's new image" Moerlein, Hillary "I promise to write longer articles" Lustick, Max "I'll do the job Taylor never did!" Dionne, Jennifer "Hope your thumb feels better." Gerson, and Alissa "I'm special because I went to high school with Frost" Green . Though we are sad that Frost did not get his play, we are excited that he will have time to teach the assistants how to tag next semester. Lauren "I have so much stress, you don't even know" Phillips is taking time off to write for The Observer. Taylor "What? You want me to come down to the office?" Shann is taking some time off to...well...go see some movies.

In Viewpoints, Jillian "the CH is pronounced K" Hochstrasser and Chelsey "Of course I'm good at Beirut, freshmen hang out in frats" Leruth look forward to another semester editing pieces against the war on Iraq. They will be assisted by Sophia "Fowler is making me stay" Fircanis, while Jessica "I was Fowler's friend" Wells leaves to enjoy second semester of senior year.

With Elliott "I look just like Ethan" Wiley's takeover of the Sports Department, Sports promises to continue to offend readers and coaches alike next semester. He will be joined by Manali "The non-persecuted Indian" Shah, Beibhinn "Luck of the Irish" O'Donoghue and assistants Aman "I write for every section" Gupta, Kristy "Cow-tipping" Cunningham, and Tim "I'm actually a baseball player" Whelan. Lisa "I cheat on my editors' picks" Rothlein and Ethan "I'll edit more from Spain than at Tufts" Schwartz head abroad for the semester.

In the photo department, Amy "Maybe I'll be on time next semester" Berkowitz, Andrea "Darkroom chemicals are good" Bedoya, Soren "I'm a machine" Burns, Will "Still the only guy in photo" Wittels, and Laura "Break-it then fix-it" Boudreau will continue to lobby Business for digital cameras. They are joined by assistants Kelly "Flash" O'Brien, and Megan "Click" Walters. Carrie "No more scan nights!" Gagel and Christine "I really want to write a column" Hendrickson take a leave of absence.

With the departures of Rubenson and Phillips, Production may be the loudest department on the paper next semester. Mollie "Speed layout" Greenfield returns for a second semester of pulling comics... err... serving as Production Director, after leading the crew to its first ever Best Department Award. Mark "West Wing in 20 minutes!" Evitt

Denise "I love the Wall Street Journal insert" Ho, Sarah "Cheesecake is life" Kimball, Tim "I'm only here to talk to my girlfriend on IM" Biller, and Michele "Is world news ready?" Krengel will serve as production managers. Layout editors are Sam "I just get to do corrections" Verrill, Melissa "Above and beyond the call of duty" Diracles, Margaret "Is that really going to be in the paper?" Hennings, Robin "I never have class" Liss, and Shubha "The quiet one" Jayaram.

Heading up the copy editing will be Dave "The Dictator" Perkiss, who will be joined by Jessica "No, I won't quit crew" McKeon, Jessica "Comma" McConnell, and Hilary "banned from editing Viewpoints" Glazer. In Information Technology, John "Windows 2000" Korber will serve as systems manager, while Dave "TuftsLife.com steals from The Weather Channel" Nagler and Olusola "I learned C++ in the womb" Akapo will continue to build the website until it surpasses TuftsLife.com.

The Business Department, meanwhile, is experiencing a revolution, as Danny "Can do!" Kleinman promises to actually clean the office in his position as Executive Business Director. Exec is also considering a new task for Kleinman: requiring him to come to the office at 11 p.m. and calm us down from whatever crises have occurred that night.

Kleinman takes over for Victoria "Oops, I forgot" Luxardo, who heads to Spain for the semester. Serving as business managers will be Parker "I love Hillel" Perez and Jonathan "Subscriptions are groovy" Kruesi. Josh "The paper usually comes out on time" Weisstuch continues as office manager. Shasta "Thank god I'm not a copy editor" Jean-Mary and Margo "No one knows me because I don't come out of the business area" Hanlan continue as ad manager and receivables manager, respectively.

Overall, with Fowler at the helm, the Daily staff is in for another semester of misadventures, late My Brother's Place food, and office power outages. Now if only someone could figure out why there is a hose hanging from the ceiling...