Your housing woes solved

Q: Angie, the housing lottery is coming up and it's tearing apart my friendships. I don't know what to do. This is the story: I'm a junior and I've been living off campus this year with a few friends. We are all so sick of paying bill after bill, we all want to live on campus next year! The problem is that not all of us want to live together again due to girl tensions in the house, but we are afraid of hurting feelings. It is really a mess because there are so many different options and combinations of us and our other friends for next year. What can we do? - Housing impaired



A: The period right before the housing selection is notoriously stressful. Many students (juniors, in particular) have decided to take matters into their own hands and opt for a reasonable (although somewhat pricey) alternative: off campus housing! But you've been down that road, and it's normal for some students not to feel prepared for the responsibility that comes with renting their own place. With time running out, it's important to NOT worry too much about hurting feelings _ I would be more worried that planning behind people's backs would leave a deeper scar. As soon as possible, gather together the people involved in this selection process. When you're all there, be as honest as up front with each other as possible. You don't want people feeling like they're getting stuck in an unpleasant situation next year when there are other alternatives for them to seek out, such as single rooms, other groups or even trying their hand off campus again. Also realize that you must be flexible, because when it comes to the housing selection, a lot of the process is out of your hands. Try to be open to the idea of living in singles in a certain dorm and compromising with each other! Worst-case scenario, some of you could stay in your off-campus place again. I know it's not ideal, but in the words of the Rolling Stones: "You can't always get what you want, but if you try sometimes, you'll find you get what you need."



Q: I don't drink, I never have, I don't want to... but all of my friends drink basically every weekend and they always try to make me. They are real good friends when not drunk but I am sick of "peer pressure". - Non-alcoholic freshman



A: Good for you! I'm glad you're sticking to your conviction. It is absolutely inappropriate for your friends to try to pressure you into an activity that you do not want to engage in. Looking at it from their perspective, though, they probably enjoy your company and don't want you to "miss out" on the fun they are having. They also may feel as though you're judging them for what they're doing or look down on them somehow. They continue this behavior every week because you've been letting them get away with it thus far, and they may think you'll crack sooner or later. Maybe you should speak with them and make it clear that you will not standby and be pressured any longer. You should let them know that you value their friendships and respect the decisions they make for themselves. Try coming up with some non-alcohol related activities for next weekend, and they may realize they enjoy your company just as much when they're sober.