Life with Joey

It was during my freshman year here at Tufts that I figured it out: as diverse as our campus claims to be, there is one common thread that binds the entire Tufts community. It's the sentiment that the Tufts shuttle, or as many like to call it, the Joey, is the worst thing ever. Ok, maybe the feelings aren't as harsh as I am making them out to be, but I like to complain.

My freshman year, my family made the trek up from CT to do the generic parents weekend thing -- take a cheesy tour of campus, visit my dorm room (of course I had remembered to take down all of the incriminating dorm party photos), and then take the obligatory trip to Fire and Ice in Harvard Square. As I was still pretty new to the whole Tufts thing, I assured my family that Harvard Square was just a hop, skip and a jump away. "All we have to do is catch the shuttle and it'll take us right to the T." Forty-five minutes later, my shivering family stepped aboard the giant beast and plopped down on those cold orange seats. Needless to say, the parents were not too happy. Where was this "easy access" to Boston that they told us about in the info session one year prior?

This incident was the start of an ongoing battle between me and Joey. I felt betrayed, angry, and became cynical. Joey became a dark cloud that loomed every time I tried to get off campus. Did it really have to take two hours to make a trip to Osco? There had to be a better way. A lot of people told me to stop being lazy and to suck it up and walk to Davis. First of all, these people must not have taken into consideration the lazy factor. But even for those of us who are not lazy (a rare breed), isn't this what our money is paying for?

Sometimes walking to and from Davis is just not a choice. This brings me to my second anecdote -- the Easter weekend betrayal. My family had planned a trip to Aruba, and I was to meet up with them to tag along. Suitcase in hand, I excitedly grabbed my train ticket and waited for Joey. As I waited in Olin, dark clouds started to gather and I knew that was a bad sign. As the rain poured, I realized that 40 minutes had passed with no Joey. My heart started pounding -- I was going to miss my train. It was too late for me to try to drag my suitcase all the way to Davis. Beads of sweat began to form and I started panicking. Fortunately, Joey appeared. And when I got to my train, it was a scene out of a movie. I literally jumped on as the doors shut behind me. "Joey will pay for this," I thought.

Since the Easter weekend betrayal, relations between Joey and me had only gotten worse. I began to investigate Joey's flaky behavior. I discovered why Joey was always late; he was taking unnecessarily long breaks at the campus center. It made sense -- after the shuttle appeared at Olin, why would it take forever for it to make it to Davis? It was almost like the Bermuda Triangle, as the whereabouts of the Joey were a mystery to us all. Joey was taking excessively long bathroom breaks, chatting on his cell phone, and sometimes would just stand there! Joey said that he was just waiting to pick up as many students as possible. I muttered underneath my breath "What about those poor students who are waiting inside Denise's, who are being forced to buy ice cream just so that they don't have to wait outside in the cold? You have a duty to serve all of us, not just the campus center crowd."

Joey was lazy and taking too many breaks. To my horror, I also realized that Joey was reckless and violent. I would hear urban legends (though they may be true) that he would nick the bumpers of cars parked in the Carmichael parking lot and in front of Miller. He didn't feel bad about it. What's worse is Joey's disregard for human life. This brings me to another incident -- the old lady fall. One sunny day, I was waiting in line to exit the Joey in Davis. Suddenly the bus started to move and I heard a scream. The driver had taken her foot off the break, "accidentally" as an elderly woman was stepping off the bus. One injury report later, I realized, this was not ok.

I returned from Thanksgiving break my sophomore year to have my last confrontation (or lack thereof) with Joey. Heavy bags in hand, I excitedly stepped out of the T station and waited for Joey to bring me back to Jumbo-land. After 45 minutes, I began to hear rumors that Joey was not running that day. My heart sank when I found out that this was true. Along with a herd of angry students, I dragged my suitcase all the way back to campus. What was Joey thinking?

My rocky relationship with Joey ended there. I finally brought my car to campus. I was glad to have cut off all ties with Joey, as my car treats me right. I am writing this Viewpoint for all of those victims who are still experiencing the lazy and erratic behavior of Joey. Just remember that we all feel your pain, and if we band together, maybe Joey will learn that this is not ok.

Dena Asaad is a junior majoring in Biology and Spanish.