The Lush heads home

Think about it. College is the only time in your life when you can walk up to a stranger's house, knock on their door, and say, "Hey, I heard you guys got two kegs?" and be pointed downstairs to the basement, where there are, in fact, two kegs. So in honor of college house parties (and the fact that I didn't get to a bar this weekend), I have compiled a list of five party essentials besides the requisite cups n' kegs:



1. Music -- Often overlooked, music is super important in keeping party people happy. What kind of party is it if you're not screaming while trying to talk to the person next to you? And what else would fill in awkward pauses in conversation? Whether you have someone being "DJ" playing CD's burned the night before, or just playing Winamp on repeat-- try to keep the music current. No one wants to hear the stuff you downloaded on Napster freshman year.



2. Games -- Some people don't go to parties to socialize, but to compete in an Olympics-like competition of drinking games. Flip cup, quarters, Beirut (also known as beer pong, and a version of it is called Panama) - these games involve skill (some, not much), luck, and a good tolerance for cheap beer.

Technically, these games shouldn't exist on this campus, according to the Pachyderm. But this is a school where we work hard, play hard, right? Maybe make that work hard, play harder -- I mean, have you ever tried having a conversation with a boy playing Beirut? You can't. They're so focused it's like they have blinders on.

But only at Tufts will you see a Beirut table like the one I saw on Bromfield a few weekends ago. It actually had the keg tap going through a hole in the table for easy-to- reach refills, a plastic gutter to catch the runoff and drain into a bucket, and a squeegee to clear the table when you were done. (Obviously, this was a house of engineers.)

Another game in itself is consuming the beverages: How many ways can you drink a Keystone Light? Shotgun, waterfalls, keg stand, funnel... it makes you wonder who thought of these things in the first place. Let's have someone who can't even stand straight hold me upside down while I suck beer through a metal nozzle and cling to the barrel to hold myself up. It almost sounds like a circus trick. But remember, it's all fun and games until someone gets dropped (trust me on this).



3. Theme -- Although it exacerbates the "what am I going to wear" question, themes give people a chance to dress up ( whether it's Kelly Kapowski [from SBTB] on 80's Night or a Greek god for a Toga party) and be someone else. And for some reason, no matter how creative or unoriginal the theme is, the theme always ends up becoming: how can we get girls in skimpy outfits?

Fun theme parties that I've been to: early 90's (complete with cordless phones as cell phones Zack Morris-style), cowboys and school girls, New Year's (a cute idea, since we aren't on campus to celebrate it together; we also counted down the new year at least four times), Mardi Gras, stoplight party (wear green if you're single, red if you're taken, and yellow, if you're in limbo), pimps and hos, leap year, around the world... And only in college will people throw parties celebrating Leap Year... or a Wednesday.



4. Creative drinks -- There are certain drinks that never make it to the bar menu after college. Maybe it's because we're a less picky crowd. An ice louge (the coldness kills the germs, right?), jello shots (my absolute favorite), and Jungle Juice (isn't everyone warned against this one before going to college?) don't go over so well with people who actually have to pay for their drinks.



5. Your friends and the randoms -- At the risk of sounding like a Hallmark card, where would we be without our friends -- the drunk dialers, the "moms," the friends that cut you off, the friends that pour you another, the lushes, well-intentioned cock-blockers, friends with benefits, the ones that hold your hair back, Beirut partners, and more. Without these people in our (social) lives, a decorated basement in Medford would be just that, and our nights would be a lot less crazy and a lot less fun.

And what about the random characters at college parties that don't exist at the bars? The townie that "swears" he's in your intro to psych class, the random dude wearing a backpack, the girls who love dancing, the guy who decides to go streaking, and those new people you meet who prove that even after almost four years at a small liberal arts college you still don't know everyone. These random people may annoy or amuse, but after college you won't be able to look them up in the online directory or freshman facebook.