NHL teams stop being polite, start getting real

At 10:31 each Tuesday night, a general dreariness falls over my television. This moment marks a full week until the next new episode of "Real World, San Diego." I doubt if I can even make it through the rest of my week without the "Real World" to look forward to. In order to keep the show's spirit alive in my heart and in the hearts of my readers, I have decided to devote this week's NHL analysis to those now familiar seven strangers living together and having their lives taped.

First of all, I should admit up front that this new season in San Diego has been disappointing overall. The characters and their weekly dramas have led to much head-scratching and anger on my part. This is especially frustrating because of the great promise associated with this season's geographical site, San Diego (acclaimed by many to be the nicest place to live in the world) and because of my love affair with last season's "Real World, Paris." For this reason, I have chosen to compare the entire Real World season thus far to the league's most under-achieving team, the Anaheim Mighty Ducks.

Last season, the Ducks came one game short of winning the Stanley Cup, losing to the New Jersey Devils in game seven of the Finals. Their post-season success was, in large part, the result of outstanding goaltending by Jean-Sebastien Giguere, who led the team past the top-seeded Detroit Red Wings, formidable Dallas Stars, and less-intimidating Minnesota Wild.

In this way, Giguere seems to have played a role similar to that of C.T. in last year's "Real World Paris." Without the obnoxious Bostonian, the show's storylines would have grown dull and ratings would have surely plummeted.

This season, however, Giguere has been consistently mediocre, giving up an average of 2.64 goals per game and winning only 13 times thus far.

Though the Ducks lost All-Star Paul Kariya during the off-season, they picked up the skilled Russian veteran Sergei Fedorov to fill the void. Expectations were high all around, as demonstrated by ESPN's pre-season prediction that Anaheim would finish fourth in the conference and, according to some specific analysts, win the Pacific Division. Currently, the Ducks are occupying the 11th spot in the Western Conference standings and are nine points out of the playoffs. In the Pacific Divison, they trail everyone except the lowly Phoenix Coyotes.

With that said, the San Diego cast has shown some promise. The most redeeming member of the house is Brad from Chicago. His less-than-extensive vocabulary combined with a habitual drunken disregard for others makes for great television (and a few trips in the back of squad cars).

Though presumably a Chicago Blackhawks' fan, I think the more accurate connection for Brad would be with the always exciting and dominating Red Wings. Leading the league in points with 85, the Red Wings have to be the favorite for hoisting the Cup in June. This week's acquisition of Robert Lang, the league's top point-getter, from the Washington Capitals will probably force the Wings' Western rivals (specifically the Colorado Avalanche and San Jose Sharks) to react in kind. In the same way Brad leads his house-mates during a night on the town, the Wings have the power to dictate the rest of the league's actions.

Other cast parallels include:

Jamie, the quiet Asian girl who has yet to play a prominent role in any of the episodes, reminds me of the New York Islanders. Quietly, the Islanders are in position for a playoff berth in the East. Alexei Yashin, the team's one big name, has been out with an arm injury since Christmas. As a result, the squad has had to depend on a bunch of no-name players to stay competitive. So, like Jamie, the Isles have played a peripheral role in this season's major stories.

Jacquese has been consistently entertaining with hilarious analysis of his fellow house-mates ("When a girl ax you to go to the bafroom, it's time to get down. Get your magic stick out. Abracadabra"). The unexpected success of this seemingly out-of-place cast member seems to correspond to the Calgary Flames.

Not only does the Flames' roster include the best African-American player in the league (Jerome Iginla), but the team, predicted by many before the season to bring up the Western Conference's rear, has also mimicked Jacquese's cool and collected persona. Currently situated in the sixth spot in the Western Conference, the Flames have been beating good teams on a regular basis since goalie Miikka Kiprusoff joined the squad in November. The "Kipper" is leading the league in both goals against average at 1.55 and save percentage at 93.8 percent.