The search for perfect pants

On a recent shopping excursion, I made an unsettling discovery. I was searching for a pair of basic chinos that I could dress up or down, but I could not find that perfect blend of style, comfort, and quality that I longed for. Apparently, good pants no longer exist. Or if they do, they are few and far between.

How does one judge a pair of pants? Everyone has an idea of their perfect fit and style. I imagined a pair of trousers that sat just below the waist -- neither too high, nor too low. The legs would be tailored, but not fitted -- neither too wide nor too narrow. They had to be both classic and modern without tapered legs or a pleated front. Given these rather picky specifications, I anticipated that it would take some effort to find just what I was looking for. However, I did not anticipate that, after visiting dozens of stores in the Copley/Prudential/Newbury area, I would return home empty handed.

My journey began at J. Crew, thinking this was a good place to look for classic clothing. I recalled that once upon a time, I had a pair of J. Crew boot fit chinos that I wore all the time. A boot fit means that the legs flare out slightly at the bottom, instead of going straight down or tapering. This look is flattering on almost everyone and is a bit more fashion-forward than a pair of straight leg pants. After conversing with the salesperson, who was remarkably clueless about clothing for someone who worked in a clothing store, I learned that these pants were no longer available in the store. "I guess you could look in the catalogue or something," she suggested. Well, I wasn't about to order something without trying it on, so I looked for something in the store that caught my fancy.

Unfortunately, the only other pants that might have worked looked awful when I tried them on. It is important that you find the right size for the fit of the pant. With these pants, I could make them sit where I wanted on the waist if I went a size up. That, however, made everything else nasty and baggy. Yet, if I wore them as they were intended, I felt like a frumpy grandpa. They actually made me look like I had big hips, which defies logic if you have ever seen me. ...

Moving on to United Colors of Benetton, I hoped to find something a bit sassier. As it turns out, the pants at Benetton are entirely too sassy for the likes of me. Unless you can pull of that sleek Euro look, I suggest you steer clear of Benetton this season. Here I was reminded that one must always know his or her limitations. Not everyone should wear tight pants. Things didn't go much better at Gap or Banana Republic. The sizing at these stores is so standardized that if you don't have a very average body type, everything fits strangely.

I continued to look throughout the mall, even venturing into the frighteningly up-scale world of Neiman Marcus. After finally getting the attention of a salesperson that was apparently too stylish and suave to be working at a department store, I was shown a pair of promising-looking trousers in a nice grey. There was only one problem -- they were Armani. I had to make up some excuse about how I didn't like the zipper and sped out of the store before they could scoff at my poor college student status. I don't care who you are -- nobody my age should be paying so much for a single article of clothing (it just isn't right!).

After this scenario, I officially felt disillusioned with the fashion industry. I guess it's too much to ask to find a pair of affordable, good-looking pants right now. One thing is certain, though: don't compromise your standards just because there doesn't seem to be anything better. Sooner or later, when you least expect it, that perfect pair of trousers will come along. Until then, we'll always have jeans. ...