Halloween is upon us again, and with it comes the typical onslaught of slasher films, spooky candy, and dead leaves. This year's crop of scary films, however, seems slightly flat. Since scary movies tend to go hand in hand, it's time for a list of the best horror movies ever made.
Before we start let's get two things clear. "Best" is a difficult thing to define. Does it mean scariest, most fun or campiest? For our purposes, let's just loosely define best as "somehow better than the rest." Secondly, lists are pretty stupid and up for discussion. What's the difference between number 5 and number 6 on this list? Not more than a couple inches. Pretty much the movies are assigned in whatever order we feel like.
The Wild Card! "Event Horizon" (1997)
<$>There was some debate about this one. Sam Niel and Lawrence Fishburn? The ship itself is the bad guy? Although definitely a rip off of pretty much every other film in the genre, I have to admit this movie scared the bejesus out of me when I saw it in seventh grade. Somehow it works, even with Lawrence Fishburn winning the "biggest over-actor of all time award" going away.
10. "Texas Chainsaw Massacre" (1974)
<$>Probably originated the modern horror genre. A plot to make conservatives everywhere happy: A group of hippies are brutally slaughtered in rural Texas. Bonus points for being the first film in which someone is being chased by a bad guy wielding a chainsaw. Yikes. A low budget masterpiece. Extra bonus points because the sequel wasn't bad and starred a former Tufts student.
9. "Dawn of the Dead" (1978)
<$>The second part of George Romero's groundbreaking zombie trilogy, "Dawn of the Dead" has the greatest premise ever: A bunch of zombies in a shopping mall with a rag-tag band of human survivors and a bunch of guns. What we get is engaging social commentary on the state of American ??ber-consumerism and gore. Ignore the remakes and the parodies; the original still shuffles along on its own.
8. "Evil Dead II" (1987)
<$>Sam Raimi's cabin-in-the-woods gore-fest is a remake masquerading as a sequel. "Evil Dead II" sands off the low-budget edges of its source material without sacrificing the scares. One liners and chainsaw-arms are provided by cult-movie stud Bruce Campbell.
7. "Jaws" (1975)
<$>This movie, in case you forgot, is scary as hell. Think about the opening scene; the frightened skinny dipping girl, clinging to the buoy as her male friend is passed out on the beach. You can't even see the shark you can just see her screaming as she's sucked under the water. Spielberg builds tension effectively, keeping the shark below the water and visible only in our minds. Much, much scarier.
6. "The Ring" (2003)
<$>Good god this movie is terrifying. It gets a little stupid towards the end, but gosh, is it scary. The whole horse thing touched a "Black Beauty" nerve. Naomi Watts vaults to semi-stardom as a confused television reporter. I don't even care that the plot is pretty ridiculous. That opening scene is amazing, with the two girls just waiting to be killed.
5. "The Exorcist" (1978)
<$>Not too much explanation needed. We're all pretending the prequel that came out last month never happened. It doesn't get much better than "The power of Christ compels thee!" I can imagine Dubya screaming it at undecided voters. In any event, the steps are scary, the little girl is terrifying, and with head spinning and projectile vomit, I mean, what's not to like?
4. "Alien" (1979)
<$>Absolutely terrifying. When the guy is leaning over the alien pod and the thing pounces onto his face mask? Yeah, grab a new pair of underwear. Sigourney Weaver continues the trend of "female heroine who's the only one left alive at the end." Bonus points for terrifying evil robot incorporated into a movie about an alien.
3. "Psycho" (1960)
<$>The shower scene, the dark house on the hill, the Bates Motel ... very scary. Scariest ever? Obviously not. Hitchcock certainly knows how to craft an atmosphere. Pulling into a dingy motel at night in the rain has since become a clich?© but it wasn't in 1960. And Hitchcock does it better than anyone else.
2. "Halloween" (1978)
<$>In the first (and best) of the horror franchises. Just enough campiness, just enough scariness. Jamie Lee Curtis is excellent as one of the first female horror heroines that manage to avoid being slaughtered. Much better than Jennifer Love Hewitt. The closet scene with the stabbing and the death? That scene gave me nightmares for weeks.
1. "The Shining" (1980)
<$>Number one on the list is a movie unfortunately memorable to most because of one line: "Here's Johnny!" The movie is the ultimate in creepiness, reflecting the excellence of famed director Stanley Kubrick's . Also intensely creepy are the "Red Rum" twins. A masterful study of isolation, madness, and finally mayhem, "The Shining" is what every horror movie and Neverland Ranch sleepover try to be: scarier for what might happen than what actually does.
It doesn't get much better than "The power of Christ compels thee!" I can imagine Dubya screaming it at undecided voters. In any event, the steps are scary, the little girl is terrifying, and with head spinning and projectile vomit, I mean, what's not to like?
