Hahahahahahaha. Sorry, that's just me sobbing at School Bus' tale of heartbreaking defeat in the recent B league intramural basketball championship ("Basketball team School Bus rolls through season only to wreck in final," Nov. 11).
See, I happen to know something about School Bus and an undefeated team rolling into an intramural basketball championship. Only it wasn't School Bus that was "seemingly unbeatable" heading into the 2004 spring finals. Back then, a team unlike no other in the history of intramural B league basketball entered the championship game undefeated.
(Yes, it was B league, and yes, we know we would have gone around .500 in A league, and no, we didn't care, we just wanted championship t-shirts).
My team, Indian-American Dynasty (IAD), didn't just beat teams, we dissected them. Our offense wasn't always great. But our defense was Detroit Pistons nasty. Let's meet the core of the roster. Be aware that I've added an inch to everyone's real height, just like they do on NBA rosters, and three inches for me.
Josh (5'11"): Clutch combo guard who was good at everything and did a little bit of everything - shot, passed, brought the ball up, crashed the boards, and played D. As added bonuses, he looks like the fifth Beatle, is a Philadelphia Eagles fan, and actually lives in Zeta Psi.
Short Aman (5'9"): Member of the Frisbee team aka the Tufts Emen. Scrappy on offense, pesky on defense, did the little things and even played hurt, Willis Reed style.
Tall Aman (6'3"): Another member of the Tufts Emen, former club volleyball player, and defensive stalwart who also carried us offensively at times, particularly in the semifinals.
Ben (6'0"): The top point guard and three point threat, with the exception of the said semifinals when he shot 2-23. Received a tryout with the Charlotte Bobcats.
Mike (6'4"): The weak link on the team. Good skills gone to waste due to mental frailty, physical injuries, and just plain apathy. Just kidding; he was actually one of the MVPs of the team.
Rishi (5'11"): probably one of the nicest people on campus. Nifty ball skills, good shooter.
PK (6'3"): Quick, athletic, and long. Played at a frenetic pace.
Jeremy (6'5"): Extremely athletic member of the club volleyball team. A good and willing passer who also flat-out dominated at times. I honestly think other teams were intimidated just seeing him glide to the basket in warm-ups; you just don't find players that athletic in B league.
We started out the season with several blow-out wins marked by suffocating defense, perfect rebounding, and opportunistic offense. Then, like any dominant team is prone to do after not being challenged for awhile, we lapsed into a short stretch of lackluster 40-29 wins in which we were never in danger of losing, yet could never quite convince the other team to give up.
In the stretch run, without Jeremy, we prevailed in a double overtime game against Elliott Wiley's team in which Elliott broke the world record for most shots taken in a game. Then, in a match-up of undefeated teams, (ALERT: lame metaphor ahead which would so be used on ESPN) we sent School Bus back to the garage.
Full disclosure: we were down eight, and they were without Andrew Hara, leaving them with only one top-notch A league-quality player, track hurdler Jamil Ludd. And when he went down with an injury (Fullest disclosure: Jamil was lying on the ground because I had accidentally and simultaneously given him a concussion and reaggravated his leg injury during a scramble for a loose ball. Whoops. (Sorry Jamil.) They had no one to handle the ball under pressure. We put on the full court press and swooped back for a two-point win. It wasn't the most impressive of wins, but then again, neither were some of the Patriots' wins in their unbeaten streak. As long as you get it done, right?
A few more tune-up wins and it was playoff time. In the semifinals, we went up against the international basketball team. Luckily for us, it was IM basketball, not IM soccer. We took a 10-0 lead, and after some confusion on their part - they didn't seem to realize that there's no shot clock in intramural basketball and that we could thus run the four corners in the final few minutes - we pulled out the victory.
The win vaulted us into the championship game rematch against School Bus. If we were the Pistons, they were the Lakers, with two big guns (Hara and Ludd, and role players like Elad Cohen, better known as that kid you see hawking Red Bull all over campus). Unfortunately, this wasn't the 2004 NBA Finals.
Jamil (back from his concussion but taking care to not come too close to me on the court) had an unconscious first half, knocking in three pointer after three pointer. We made our comeback in the second half, of course, and we had our chances. But I missed a clean look at a trey. We blew a 3-on-1 fast break. We had a technical foul called against us for hounding the inbound passer. Down by two with fewer than five seconds remaining, we missed an easy layup, recovered the rebound and got fouled, missed the first free throw, intentionally missed the second, recovered the carom, and missed another shot as time expired.
And that was that. I'm not sure what went wrong. Maybe School Bus, like George W. Bush, just had God's mandate to win. Maybe the loss was our comeuppance for playing for the t-shirt. After the loss, referee Randy Newsom told me, "I couldn't believe you guys lost, but I'm glad you did. You were too good for this league anyway."
Yeah, that's probably true. But we want the t-shirts to prove it. So, after taking a hiatus this semester, we'll be back, upgraded and improved in ways you can't even fathom. School Bus, be afraid, very afraid. We're coming for ya.
