This article is the second in a five-part series looking at sex on campus. The articles are based in large part on anecdotal evidence, asking the question "How do we behave sexually at Tufts, and how aware are we of the risks?" This second article looks at how one student handled her unplanned pregnancy.
Anne Stevenson was a student at UMass Boston enjoying her time with friends, classes and her on-and-off boyfriend of two years. She was a full-time student with sophomore standing, working at Brooks Brothers on Newbury in her free time, preparing to head off to Oxford her next year on a study abroad program. It was during this time, at the age of 25, that she learned she was pregnant.
Tufts Health Services gave out 42 cases of lubricated condoms alongside 10 cases of plain ones from Sept. 2003 to Oct. 2004. That's 52,000 condoms a year on average, in addition to the brand-name condoms many prefer to buy themselves.
But Health Services also administered 240 "morning after" pills in the period marked from September 2003 to September 2004. And that's not including Sundays, when students had to call directly in to the pharmacy because Health Services was closed.
You're having sex. And some of you aren't protecting yourselves. How relevant is Anne's story to your life?
Stevenson called the news a surprise. "You think you know your cycle, but you really don't because there's always variables to it," she said. "We were both monogamous and had known each other for a very long time. I wasn't worried about STDs, but when I got pregnant, I was definitely shocked."
"I had so many goals, and it was like 'Do I have this baby and give everything up?'" Stevenson said. "I didn't want to be a single mom, which is what it boiled down to. I may not have made the same choice had I known."
"I think a lot of people say that they are pro-choice and they are, but when it comes down to you making the personal decision, it's like 'Could I do this?,'" she added. "And then you start reading up and you realize 'Ok, eight weeks along the kid has a heartbeat, a backbone, and I went to the ultrasound before and I was just like 'I can't have an abortion, I just can't.'"
Stevenson and the father planned to marry, and she moved as far as California to be with him, but two weeks before the wedding, she realized that marriage was not what they needed. By the time Stevenson and the father broke up, she was 16 weeks into her pregnancy.
"So there was no way I was going to get an abortion," Stevenson said. "I mean, I could have, but [personally] there was no way I could. You go to the ultrasound, and I saw him moving and you're looking at the feet."
So Stevenson returned to her parents' home in D.C. to give birth to Reece, her son of almost two years. During the end of her pregnancy, she used that time to apply to several schools in the hope of finishing her education. While pregnant, she interviewed with Associate Dean Jean Herbert and was accepted to Tufts, where she is currently a junior.
Stevenson keeps in touch with her son's father, who is able to relieve some of the financial burden of raising a child, though it "is basically the same as what I would have gotten if I had gone on welfare."
"I was 26 when I had my son - I had traveled and done a lot already," Stevenson said. "If I had been 20 or 22, I do not think I could have handled it. Being a mom is awesome, but it is huge."
"You are forced to depend on people more, which was especially hard for someone as independent as me," Stevenson said. "A lot of people I thought were my best friends disappeared when I had Reece because I could no longer just get up and go at the drop of a hat, and having a kid around was a drag to them. But then I found out who my real friends were, too."
In tomorrow's Daily, part three of this series will look at the ways single mothers like Stevenson balance schoolwork, child care and social lives.
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A morning in the life of a student mother
<$>7:00 a.m. Wake up to Reece poking my eyes out and staring me in the face. He gives me a kiss and now he wants me to magically wake up and play games. Guess the 'childproof' doorknob handle on his bedroom door was a total waste of money. I change his diaper and get him dressed while he runs away laughing.
7:20 I make breakfast for Reece so he can throw it on the floor and laugh at me while I try to clean it up, then shower and get dressed faster than Clark Kent changes into Superman in a phone booth.
7:35 OH CRAP! I forgot to chain lock the inside door to my apartment and now I can hear the 'Reeces monkey' running upstairs in the neighbors' apartment. I am such a negligent mother.
7:35:30 I run up the stairs and let myself into the neighbor's apartment to repo my kid. He is standing next to the bird cage: "Birdie!" OK. He learned a new word. I can't yell at him. So I sneak out and hope no one notices we were there.
7:45 No time for makeup. I pack my books for school and get Reece's bag ready for daycare. Mad that the door is now chain-locked and he cannot get out, he goes into the bathroom and throws a box of Q-tips on the floor and tries to eat my peach-scented deodorant. Now I yell at him.
8:00 I try to put a coat and some sneakers on the little ankle-biter, but he is so squirmy it's like nailing Jell-O to the wall.
8:15 I'm running late. Gotta try and finish up my math homework at breakfast. Pack us into the car and we leave.
8:30 I arrive at daycare. Reece won't let me leave. Babysitter has to bribe him to leave the doorway with Fruit Loops and putting in an Elmo tape.
8:31 I sneak out the door feeling guilty for leaving him at daycare and not staying home with him. Maybe something will happen and I will miss it.
8:45 Park the car and go to the student center and grab a coffee and a cinnamon roll. Do math homework.
9:30 Classes start.
- Anne Stevenson
